just smile and there is nothing you can't overcome.

I like u, zhang dong liang=)

i am envious that my friend managed to find a course which he can excel in. Is it very difficult to find something that you are best in?

A wrong step can cause a long-term regret. But standing at the other point of view, it can help you to learn something

so contradicting...

today is simply a packing day, i got to be more decisive when it comes to watching movies.

the 'apple' show was nice, but there is fighting scene that i seriously dun quite like. and i almost fell asleep half way cos i was so tired and sitting at the 2nd row, just make me feel like sleeping. but the song is nice and i wanted to listen to the song, yet i was like rushing for tuition. so i couldn't stay longer. and the sad thing that the guy in the end, wasn't with the girl. that sad...should have a better happy ending anyway.

my tuition kid keep pestering me that she wanted a particular sticker. haix, but she is cute so i forgive. she is so like me when i was young. so cute, so talkative... and simply like to exchange stickers.

i hope that i can go to the place where the picture belongs with my friends and family.

i cut my hair le, and it now become shorter. kind of miss my long hair, yet i won't regret...after thinking for a month, finally decided to cut. Because it always got stuck at the window of the train when i fell asleep. NOW, it wouldn't=)

it is a new start, and shall look forward to a new happy start! forget about every unhappiness, and start a fresh

I finally understand why. Neglect...

I seriously seriously can't believe that i am 21 years old. SO OLD... haiz

yesterday, i dream about my runaway present which was the bicycle. I was like waiting and waiting, woken up thinking that the bicycle will be folded and placed in front of me. But apparently i am wrong. Life is really like a DREAM.

I am watching the music award presentation. So nice... i forgot what i was about to say. Yup. treasure the people beside you=)

Life is very short and it all comes down to ashes. There is an ending to everything.

But at least, she led a strong life and despite all obstacles, she managed to overcome it. Just that ages as time goes by. I believed that you will receive more happiness and less suffering in the next life.

Strangely, i did not cry when i hear the news though i badly wanted to. I felt that i am a cold-blooded person as i promised never shed a tear when death news is being heard.

When i heard the good news yesterday, that you are doing fine. I was really happy. I am sorry that i did not see you for the last time. But i never regret in my decision, because i know you want me to help others. But just that, why did not you wait for my birthday to be over and we can celebrate together. 10 more days... Perhaps, it was a kind of blood ties relationship feelings that i keep wanting to accompany you this few weeks. Going to your house and just sitting beside you, allowed me to just feel very peaceful and enjoyable. You are really cute and one of my best grandma that I had.

I am proud to be your grand-daughter and you will be my forever grandmother. And i know you will be forever beside me spiritually and protecting me, just like what granddad did.

I love you.

haha! finally, there is a day...which is a public holiday. A day which i can constantly stick to my computer and watch lots of tv shows. Recently, i just wanted to finish watching 画皮. and i am at the last episode. haha! But after watching this show, i realised that i have a lot of work to do.

Work list:

*Action plan and CV plan

*Literature review for FYP

*Literature review for cognitive dysfunction (executive functions)

all this work requires TIME, TIME and TIME.

Haiz, there goes my holiday again. Haha! but tomorrow i can go to my grandma house and play again, since i have no school.However, i have to go for my project around evening, gee!!

perhaps i should not work as OT, but just work in the mediacorp and stare at the different tv screen all day long, assisting in the switching and editing of the tv shows. I think i will get a lot of satisfaction doing that since i like to watch shows so much.

Anyway, i want to go shopping=)

i am feeling super super depressed now. Lots of things incomplete...and can you believe that i still spend my time writing blog. IT is a TOTAL WASTE OF TIME, like what i will say. Stress and depression just overwhelmed me. haix.

tonight it will be a long long night for me again and i ought to do finish my OTTp preparation for tomorrow group meeting. It is JUST simply a horror. This few days, my friends are all applying for university in overseas either UK or AUST and i am also deciding whether should i apply or just save up the application fees. If...i don't apply this time round, then when my friends all go for the same school next year. I will not have any friends to go with me next time round or it will be harder to get in since there are more and more singaporean joining this unpopular course in the future. then it will be harder to get my degree since sg don't even often this degree course. Haix what should i do. so confusing. my dad asked me to go, my mum worried about me going and prefer me staying in singapore. this is just so SIAN.

anyway, just going to grad soon and i seriously needed to plan. My friends asked me, my supervisors asking me, my relatives asking me...and i have simply have no ideas. QUOTing frome my friend that if you have a dream, you will most likely succeed. If you have none, your life is simply just meaningless. FOR me, what do i really want to do???

how come human being own such a brain which can processed information and tends to worry themselves out? stress? happiness? complex processing? insights? all this things are just a chore to me. But when i asked my friends what their dreams are, they are able to narrate to me. That moment in time, i simply admire them because at least they know what they wanted in life...just that it might change everytime when i asked them... but at least they are able to tell me, RIGHT!!

but now at least, i need to focus on my work which i need to hand in next week and i simply have a test that i need to go through almost every single week. THAT is... but that my course wanted us to go through and i know that it will be a good practice, though i simply just don't want to admit it.

by the way, the real steal show is nice. just that i don't really like the fighting part. image they are robots with feeling and they got smash till their head is gone. i don't want to imagine that. but at least i feel that it teaches me that "no matter how strong your component is, how difficult the thing might seen to you, as long as you perserve and stand after every fall, there will be a time when you will succeed in the end. even if it doesn't, at least you gain the best victory and satisfaction

haha!! my birthday is coming. just to hint hint my friends!! i want a bag (must be big, just the usual size that i carry around, regardless if it is handbag, slingbag or backpack), long necklance, watch (working kind), shoes (no sneakers, unless you can find sliver sneakers with glitters).

JUST TO say, my present must have NO CARTOON CHARACTERS. no childish pictures. and NO MONEY. i don't want money cos i wan to KEEP MY PRESENTS!!

I need to get get back to my work now, before that i need to go home first.=)

quoting from someone: "perservance is scarier than cleverness"

JIA YOU, XJ!! you will be persistent in what you think.

actually, I have no idea what to write today. But i can't stop being happy today. Though it was a rather busy day, I just feel happy and contented. It was a super busy day today and a raining day. Had to wake up super early and go all the way to serangoon when the shops have not even open yet. But nevertheless, i ate the omelette and eat mac ice cream which makes me happy. It is quite strange. Perhaps, it is because i have enough sleep last night and my parent is on leave for these few days.

However, i have to complete the transcript for 3 people. I have just completed one and have two more left. How positive I sounded. Anyway, it is still holiday and i am glad=)

p.s: it is a sunny day

Just smilez...there is nothing that you can't overcome=)

This few days felt totally frustrated to the max. Though i have 3 weeks of holidays, i felt that it is simply more stressful as compared to the days in clinical. I simply have no idea why. The moments of quiet nights when i am alone in my room, being able to read my favorite series of mystery storybooks...simply cannot make my heart and brain relaxed. I really wonder what was bothering me. My parents told me that my sleep talking habits occurred almost every night ever since my holiday started. Haix. What is happened to me???

Hope that tmr cycling can help me in clearing my thoughts and what is bothering me. and my pimples are popping out and out.

should i buy the stargazing machine? This is simply too confusing.

p.s. today is a cloudy day. But Thanks SQ for going shopping with me=)

putting their heartfelt words in their heart as a self mechanism protection.

Am i doing the same thing too?

yo hoo! finally finally holidays. i am so so happy.=) smiles guys...

sat (24/9)

* finish my clinicals. but i will own 3 days of clinical for next placement

* met my friend, to finish up the presents.

* rot at home

sun(25/9)

* rot at my grandma house for the whole day

* finish watching the final episode of the mio tv

mon(26/9)

* went to tiong bahure to buy presents

* went to grandma house

* went to library

* meet my friend for presents

* went for medical checkup

* read storybooks at home

tues(27/9)

* went to swim in school

* went for lunch with fyp mates

* went for fyp

* went for tuition

* Now, doing fyp stuffs

wed(28/9)

* going to grandma house

* going for dinner

* going to watch smurfs with xiaohui

thurs(29/9)

* went for fyp

* stayed at home to watch show

fri(30/9)

* went to kkh to collect forms

* went to JP lib to read books

* went to JP to meet friends

* went home and watch tv

sat(01/10)

*Happy children's day

*went to angela's house to do fyp

*went to marine bay to fly kite with family

sun(02/10)

*grandma's house

This is my schedule for this week=)

It is finally Holiday=)

happily rotting at home though

finally my crd presentation with the department is over, hurray. But my life is not going to be easy after that... hahaha! the presentation was not very good, after thinking for awhile and there are many changes to be made. I will need to change and learn from other people. They really did a good job and simply well done=) just immersed in the presentation. So cool. But at least i finish my presentation...

On friday was a super lousy day for me. Hoping that it will be a nice day, since it was my presentation day. I got ready my thumbdrive and making sure that i brought all my notes. But practically, haha! when i got to the ground floor, i realised that i did not bring my badge. so i went back to take. However when i reach the bus-stop and thinking that " thank goodness, i was not late". When i was about to board the bus, i realized that i did not take my ez-link card. haix, what a nice one, then i rush back to take. When i came to the ground-floor, i was thinking whether i should take a cab or mrt or wait for the bus. The cab is taking too slow and just now when i was waiting for the bus, there was not at all a cab. so i ran all the way to the mrt station so that i wasn't late. Then when i reached the mrt station, i board the train and rush up the tall tall mountain to get to the hospital. It was a simply bad experience for me cos i had been always running up there for my dental appointments. I was simply breathless...

okay! that was my experience for the day. Sun is going to be over in about a few hours time. Oh ya, i almost forgot. The main aim for this blog is that i was really very happy that i was in the ortho team though it was quite stressful, cos i really dun know how i can improve myself. though i am really trying. But the team is really nice people, though there are still many questions that they will ask me for my treatment and so. but THEY ARE REALLY NICE. haha! and i think i am quite happy there but stressed, so there are times where i really wish i could take a break.

anyway, that's all. and fri was a 'nuan day', i did some reading for fyp and simply i was so tired that i fell asleep while smsing. and on sat, i went to see doctor and get appointment. After which, i went to my fyp, it is simply nice to see friends every week though it was for project. haha! at last, i get to cycle. However, because of the friction with the wheels, my bag had a hole in it. lastly because of my laptop's weight, i crush onto a big rock and hurt my feet. and it has a big patch on it. Nice one!!

Hope next week, will be a nice week=)

It has been a very long time since i was here to blog, around 20 days i suppose. Most of my friends who are blogger are also lazy to blog, in which i wasn't able to see their updates.

I was really wondering why i am up here blogging when i was suppose to complete my crd though. I finished it and hopefully when my sup vet again, it won't be full of errors again. I really hope that that what she wanted though, this is the first crd that i had to edit so many times and in which i really think that it is the most detailed crd i had even done. I did not know that a model could even be used in this way though.

last 2 weeks was a really really depressing week for me. I was like bombed with a lot of comments in which i really hope to improve, but just i had this barrier and fear that just stopped me from improving. My sup is really a great sup, she often tell me the areas that i need to improve and give me constructive feedbacks and now it only lies in whether i will be able to improve my own abilities. If i can really try to push myself and remove all the fears, i will be super contented. After all, i would really want to push myself and do not let my sup down too.

Give yourself confidence.=) and jia you. Today, is so depressing, my initial ax goes bong again and treatment plans, my brain cells are apparently dead by week 5. and all i want is to take a long break and it is so nice that this friday, i will have my crd presentation. Congratulations to me.

*just saw two friends of mine dating and wanting to get married le on facebook. haix...

sat had fyp in the morning, after which i carried lots of books home from the lib. Apparently, i haven't started reading yet. But just flipping through the books, seems fun especially the Amputee book. Anyway, i went to buy present and i bought the wrong one again. Forgot to ask her whether she had the gift already or not, and i just bought it. After that k books for a while and went to east coast to cycle.

Apparently, because i wanted to save money so i dragged my friend from one end of east coast to another end to get a cheaper bicycle per hour. I am not a good teacher so i just accompany my friend while she learnt how to cycle. It is super funny to look at the process of how people learn to cycle. I think i must have been laughed at when i was learning to cycle too. But at least she finally learn it though she keep saying that she did not manage to reach her target. BUT AT LEAST, YOU DID IT... with wounds on leg though=)

but appreciated for accompany me to cycle at ecp, though knowing that you dun know how to cycle in the first place. THANK YOU JERALDINE=). haha!!

tomorrow will be week 2 and national day. hope i really have a great week and be able to learn and hopefully to be able to help my patients ba=)

today i just had tuition and i scolded my tuition kid again. because he kept playing with the fan and totally just ignoring and guessing his way through with the problem sum so i scolded him, apparently i think i scared him cos i was super serious. I knew he knew how to do it, but if this continued with that attitude of him...i dun know how his paper is going to be like. So everytime, i will tell his mother that it is really up to him whether he wants concentrate or not. Hopefully, that his mother will do something to help him. And super funny thing is that, because i used stickers to ask him to complete his work and not to play. His grandma started to buy stickers to ask him to do his work. I really hope that he will be able to pass his end of year examination.

I felt very sorry for my sup, for having such a not good student.

seriously, i dun know how to built rapport, esp not my client.

I dun know what to do if it is other people's client, full of restrictions and limitations

the only thing is that I can do is to try my best. Not to please my sup, not to please myself, but to be responsible for my patients. Go towards this direction, and dun think about studies and grade=)

Xiangjun, no matter how much time this is going to take. or the end, might not be as perfect as you want, or it might ended up to be nothing.

regardless of how many scolding, at least i know i will learn something at least?

i got to be brave. take one step at one time.

Don't waste your every moment, do something that creates something different to other people or do work that you think you should have done. Don't wait till the last minute to complete things. Finish things as fast as possible. Just think that if you dun tried, you will never know the end results. Even if the end results is not up to your satisfaction or you might have wasted something important in your life, just treat it as an important lesson that you have learnt in your life. Learn to appreciate things. Life is never smooth-sailing, but as long as you never tried, you will never know whether you can make it or not.

There are many people who are worse than u. Time to them are like nothing, because they does not know about the "Time" factor, yet their life can be lived with happiness that no one can ever achieve. You might think that time is precious and you have wasted your life doing nothing. Yet, if you think if another way, if you are so dejected now, why not just BUCK UP now and make a difference in your other years. When you ever even look back, you might think that the years that you spent on something that you once think that is extremely important and the results are not satisfactory to you, might seem small and unimportant now to you.

yesterday, i spent my whole day running about and meeting with friends. I am very satisfied with it. After school --> shop at novena--> lunch at donut factory --> movie at iluma --> give tuition --> vivo city shop --> keppal bay --> watch online show at home --> finally had a good rest at home but with nightmare though

this morning --> woke up at 9am --> watch tv (doraemon and my fav show) --> online play some games --> printed out my notes (play and school notes) --> packed my room --> hang up my poster --> sort out all my notes to be read --> come online and blog. I can start to study and go for my another study marathon tonight. With chapter to read: play and school, clinical things, SMD to read

I can make it!!! 2 months only. just treat it as a precious learning study, even if it mean a failure to me (this is sound pessimistic, but i am being optimistic) but at least, i believe i will learn something from it.

I won't cry this time round. Do something scary everyday, you will learn that it is not that scary after all.

life screwed. i FLUNKED MY VIVA. that's so great

I am so sorry to those friends, as i have been feeling very moody recently. So especially my friends, whom i threatened to beat them up..Esp WEIZHEN. i am feeling very sorry for her=) haha! but what are friends for? to be beaten up ma!! "da shi teng, ma shi ai".

and just a new thing: i shall stop typing "huh" if not i will irritate someone=) ahahaha! BUT STILL HATE TO SMS... i SHOULD GET A PHONE WITHOUT SMS FUNCTION=)

There is a lot of things occurring in my mind, this few days, plus stories of my friends are just flooding me. I need to concentrate on my work and start to really study. I think i won't be going to facebook anymore and stop reading my comics for a while and Plus plus the attraction of television should stop for a while. for a month, i suppose...since the exam is really coming. Luckily, i had already given out present for ppl who are having their birthday this month.

Perhaps, once i have already sorted out what i am going to do and my feeling, i have been feeling better. However, it is only today that i sorted out only. But it is really nice talking to your friends, keeping nothing to yourself at all. The feeling is very nice. and i finally resist my temptation of not buying anything.

AND FINALLY WANTED TO THANKS THE person who pick up my ez-link card. strangely, i did not feel anxious at all when i know that i lost my card. This is the 3rd time that i lost my card, and i always find it. really thanks to all the persons that help me to give back to the counter. and i will always help to pick up cards and find the owner=) perhaps that will lead me to my prince...haha! too early to dream already, XJ.

I think i am now feeling calm now (as the mood ring shows). perhaps due to the song too=) Tomorrow will be a better day, think positively=) haha!!

I finally found his facebook. But i still do not dare to add him.

i can't do it!!

everyday thinking of it, felt like it will never come to an end, and there won't be an answer to it.

it just that, it seems that everything is piling up. How i wish, time could really take a break and i could do whatever i wanted. I wan to rot on my bed even if it is just a moment. and i have meeting throughout the days and work all over. Later i am off to meet my friends for her birthday buffet. I am super poor now, yet i am happy when i give someone their gifts. But i always selected the wrong gift so that a bit sad when i did not see their smile on their faces...

anyway, i need to focus on my studies and catch up with the results and make sure that i can manage my projects and start on my studies...

pls provide me with the strength. I kept thinking about him, i hope that nightmare will stop soon...

In less than 6 hours, i will be on the bus to KL. My dad scared me with the thumbprint thing that was recently implemented in malaysia checkpoint (which he read online). He said that some people ended up jamming at malaysia and have to go back to singapore, because the machines at the custom are unable to detect their thumbprint. and it often happens to me in singapore, as i had sweaty palms and it's that kind which was quite severe. so it was very hard to detect my thumbprint plus i had sensitive skin, which cause my skin to peal off whenever i got blister due to soap powder. so my lines on my hands are deep and complicated and plus the volar side will turn wrinkled very easily.

I hope that i will be able to pass-by the custom. I really look forward to the trip, though it was not the first time going with my friends to KL. Packing up all the feelings and bringing to KL, hoping to leave everything there and coming back with a better heart, a kinder heart, a braver heart, a courageous heart and a new peaceful heart. Treasuring everyone beside you, no matter how hard or how bad you felt that day, because one day you will know that you will miss them when they are gone...

no matter what they say or do, that make you mad, sometimes making you confused with what was going in their mind, but somehow just follow your instinct and believe in your friends and one day, you might make a difference in their life by providing the trust and concern that they once lost... believe that everyone is kind and they are forever there for you, though sometimes i really wanted to bang their head against the wall. ( for those thinking that i might be talking about u, just relax...i will tell u if i think that line of words should not exist. I dun like to hide things, if i really hide, trust me it is becos of some bad experience that i have in the first place).

Hope X manage to find her job, and get back her money

one of my mid term exam finally ended, I am really very happy that it ended. And the happiest thing is that i will be going on a short trip (3 days 2 nights) to Kuala Lumpur. However, my days at KL, might be flooded with presentation slides and literature papers. I really seriously wondered if i got to bring my Laptop along to KL to do my projects after we spent the whole day shopping.

During the meantime, to the countdown on the days to KL....I am flooded with lots of projects, research and presentation to do. And I got to finish it before I go to KL too, so that my other friends can collate or checked. It just too much work, Moreover I have 2 more projects than my other classmates due to the extra module that i have to do this semester. and one of the projects, only 2 person in a group, and we have to do all. I think that's a lot of work to do. and i am extremely afraid of my play n school team, because i just felt that the combination is weird as it consists really of different extremes of a person's characteristics (dun know whether u will get what i meant though).

and i think i am not going to sleep on monday morning, and i will sleep when i am on the bus, but i will buy food. I am very excited about the trip because i finally can get out of singapore and though it was the 2nd time that i am going to KL. I am really very very happy. Because i am freee of sms free from calls. I am free=)

Just like being in an alien and suck up into the spaceship=)

haha! i finally managed to catch the final episode of Survivor last week. I always fell asleep while waiting for it to start, but finally i managed to watch it. That was one happy incident for me=)

Last last last friday, i went on a steamboat buffet with my friends and apparently, we ended up eating MUSHROOMS...all thanks to Jera who likes to eat mushrooms. I felt that the more you eat at the same shop, the more boring it would get. I ate at the same shop for about 5 times, so it was rather sian and tiring as the food was always the same. Got to try something else instead.

Last week, went with MZ to the seoul garden buffet. I simply loved the ice cream, though we only managed to order once because we did not know that it was the last order. What a pity!! But anyway, Mz thought that it was not that worthwhile. I felt that it was still worth the price because there are still ready cooked food for you and lots of variety of ice cream served to the customer. And most importantly, i manage to crack the cockles' shell and get it out. Failed all the time, so i was very happy and excited in getting it out. Except that i seriously come to a conclusion that, cockles rather get burnt (till it turned black) than to let you eat.

This week, most likely or should i say i am still considering whether to eat buffet for her 21st birthday. I am poor to the max. but I should still go, right?

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I got to lead a healthy lifestyle and finished my work on time. No more acting like a snail, i got to be faster in terms of my working speed. and i am back to wearing my retainers, got to promise myself that. My aunt's voice just rings in my head...can't stop it!!!

I think i must be paranoid to think that i sneeze whenever i see someone. I am sensitive to a certain perfume, can't stop sneezing.

GUEST BLOGGERRRR :)

Hello a guest blogger here! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE............

NGXIANGJUN IS A CRAZY GIRLLLLL :) hehes

She sleeps whole day, she is a girl, she is lame, she is currently sitting beside me.
She's drinking chrysanthemum teaa, she says she wants to save money, WELL... HAHA
She is going out on this saturday. she loves yellow, she wants to buy nail polish but she is undecisive. She likes to trek but does not like exercise! She is wearing all white now except a little pink LOL she wears purple spects and she is smiling to herself (as if..more of rolling eyes! HAHA) she is wearing white slippers too! how white she is today -.-

Wz is laughing to herself when looking at the screen, she bought milk tea except of milo today cos she drank it this morning! she's wearing pink shirt and white pants. She has thick and black hair. She wears contact lens (except specs, okay if she wears spects, the sun would set east!) She ate hotcakes this morning (hotcakes only okay, no set).

Guo is typing on her laptop and looking so serious. She's wearing yellow and she looks like camel HAHA. she says she wants to buy a pair of shorts. She wears a pair of red specs. She wears white shoes (arghh, white again) She ate ban mian today and she has a phone who is covered with red irritating cover HAHA.

Bai has gone for another lesson, she wears white shirt today as well, she says she doesnt shop at gmarket that often, but she shops at other blogshops. She has a flowery clip on her hair and wz says a fly flies onto the clip. She has hotcakes with sausauge and she was tempted by the ice cream this afternoon but she is unlike xiang who really ate it! (xiang commented bai stared at her) HAHA

Rai is wearing the birthday shirt we gave her today and she is wondering what are we doing because she kept looking over! She says she likes the presents we bought her. She is stoning and she decides to put the thumbdrive in her bag and then she comes over, thought she's coming over to find us but she go see her phone! okay she walks past and sitting down now.

Char is sleeping from dont-know-what-time to now LOL okay she havent wake up yet. She wears the same shirt with rai! she is really sleeping soundly and i doubt she knows we are typing about her! HAHAHA

ANYWAY TO BE CONTINUED! shall just say they love me! :)

i just stumbled into the website and found this pic. IT is so...it just exactly what i am doing now, haha!! I must CHANGE and do what i expects. I shall stay in school and mug...but can u imagine what i am doing now? It is exactly the opposite.

xIANG Jun pls have some motivation!! pLS. But at least i finish my work for tomorrow, my presentation slides and my research. But that what i think. Addicted to korean songs (half due to Lene) and songs again=). But at least i controlled my comics and drama addiction. That is a good start after all. Time to exercise, should i go swimming tomorrow...?

There are so many things to do:

Time to work hard, promise myself that i won't watch television.

and I got to do some exercise as well as focusing on my studies...

Yet, i did not do so. Instead, i got myself addicted to television, comics books, story books. Where did all my textbooks go, and my timetable go? I am so tired, I need some sleep too.

I GOT TO FOCUS ON MY WORK, all my presentation are coming and what are u doing with your life. xIANG jUN

wishing upon the stars, by the bright sun and the shining brinking stars.

happiness always seems so short-lived. This is the first time, i really feel that i really miss my patients. Although some of them scolded me, which traumatises me especially the first few weeks of clinicals. But i really wanted them to faster recover and leave the hospital. I am excited and happy that they have improvement and manage to finish completing the tasks. Though their way of doing is a bit of compensatory methods. I felt that i am not a good Occupational therapist student but i am really going to try my best for this year. Hoping to manage to graduate in time with the rest. After 2 years, finally i managed to find what the real reason of wanting to stay in this course. I hope to go to a physical setting to do though it is so unlike me.

ru guo you ren wen wo, wo yao zhuo ge shu mo zi ne zhi liao shi...=)

by next week, i will have to hand in a report. These few days after my clinical attachment, i had been playing and watching television programes. I was playing and relaxing. On saturday, i had to go to school to attend a lesson but at last it was over. Yet to my horror, it was exactly like mobility lessons. There were no theories at all and I was afraid that history would repeat itself. On wednesday afternoon, i was going for an interview. I had not settled the time yet, cos i had second thoughts about it. A lot of my friends had told me, that it was only a year left. In fact, i counted my days... my course ended in feb but of course, as i had to repeat another half a year so it would most probably end during august. I had been taking in about a lot of comments about changing my course. it was very confusing. I think I know what i wanted and it really lightened my heart after about 2 years of ponding. Most likely, i will continue my course. But i will still go for the interview. but strangely, it was the series of movies that i watched and my aunt's comments that made me really changed my thoughts. I was an indecisive gal and I might changed my mind, which made a lot of people think that it was very common.

Okay, my new year resolution for this year is:

1. decisive

2. chiong for everything

3. be more determined in my work

4. dun let fear strike me out of the game

5. treasure my family and friends more

6. be more cheerful in life

I really like my patients (those who scold me and those who sayang me) and strangely, i really miss them=) Perhaps they make me gone through what i need to experience in the future and I felt that they make me change to a extent.

I am confused now. Very glad that finally i ended my clinicals. But at the same time, still wondering if i am suitable for this course or not. I just receive an email telling me to go for an interview. though it was not my best choice la, but it is still another option out. just wondering if i am suitable for this course (which i am still in), judging by my grades since year 1 until now. and my clinicals results... seriously, i admitted not putting enough effort into doing my work and therefore, my marks were always like that. but at the same time, i dun know what to do to improve and be more knowledgeable and suitable for my course.

What should i do...

having a pretty hairstyle,
wearing branded clothes,
carrying branded bags,
wearing branded shoes,
yet the heart is icing cold,
only thought about oneself...

what the meaning of this...
yet there are many people who existed in this world...

Mon (28/2) : went back to school to borrow books. DId not manage to touch my books and study. haiz... (M, Yl). Meet J to borrow video

tues:walk around henderson wave and hort park. it was fun though (M, A)

wed: stay at home and watch tv=)...almost finished J's drama

thurs: pulau ubin trekking=) got a lot of mosquitos (M, A, Yl, G, C)

friday: my first tuition lesson but the parents cancel it becos their son was sick. and becos they never said it early, i spent the whole day at home doing nth=(

sat: went out to buy present, but in the end get nothing out of it. (YR)

Sun: went for tuition (first lesson-Rq), went to grandma's place

Mon: read comics at Bugis all afternoon. Meet (Y) for a while to give things

tues: stay at home, finally finished J's video

wed: stay at home, Finally started Studying, ate buffet (Mu, Da)

That's all. Hope that next day will be more exciting.

aarrrrr!! this few days have been super moody, ever since on Sunday night. perhaps knowing that my clinical is coming super near. I am feeling super unhappy. I just hate myself, that super pessimistic character of mine. But sort of...I have simply no choice. I was very sad.

this few days, have been a total nightmare to me. My phone spoil (the super old phone spoiled) and Monday afternoon was total madness. All my old phones gave me trouble and everything all gone wrong. Sunday night to Tuesday night was a total madness to me. My frequent nightmare had been coming back to me. I was experience fear and anger when i was sleeping. I was so tired. I could hear myself screaming in the morning. That night, my mum told me she can't bring on a holiday because she had to go back to work and that goes my holidays. In the end, my mother compensate me by treating me and dad to a buffet. In the end, we ended up choosing beijing buffet...however it tasted totally horrible to a certain extent. They should call it a Dumpling buffet. It's all dumpling and vegetable dumplings. The horror among all the horror.

Strangely, what is happiness? I can't understand that. I felt hard to be happy all the time and people cannot always remain happy forever. I just need a short getaway, i supposed. However, strangely I managed to smile for a day (perhaps only for a few hours)... when

my mum told a not very funny joke. But i could see and hear the laughter coming from my dad and from my mum too. Perhaps it is just small little thing, being able to hear the laughters from my parents and suddenly, i felt a tingling of happiness. And I smiled. Perhaps it is just being able to with your family members and that's all. But it was soon dashed and my parents argued because of a handphone charger. But that's too common, as it won't last for a day.

I still felt moody though, and I need a super long nature walk. But it seems all my nature walk friends are all quite busy. Some need to chiong for their super long reports, while some had to be involved in some projects , while some were being booked by their other friends. Perhaps it is time for me to follow J's footsteps and take a long walk on my own...

what is happiness? can you tell me? I just think and diagnose myself as having pre-stress clinicals. Hearing how many things my friend M had to read, just simply scared me off. Perhaps it was because it seemed that she was busy reading her notes, while I was still clueless as I am not sure what i had to read as I had totally lost my direction.

SAVE ME PLS...

haha! this few days, I really had a lot of fun.

1. After the exam on thurs, my friend and I surprised my birthday girl by having me appeared in front of her. However, it was not a perfect surprise after all because they came from the wrong way and i did not manage to get the candle to light up...as usual. But after all, we had a surprise for her and had at least a short chat before they have to chiong home to mug for their exams.

2. haha! After which, i managed to learn how to ride a Bicycle. It was so great to be able to ride freely and singly=) to my surprise, i managed to ride the bicycle on my own after about of 15 minutes of learning. Perhaps, this was becos of I had my 4 wheels basics and my 2.5 wheels basics. But haha! paritally thanks to Mz too=) After which I had buffet, i forgot what the name of the japanese restaurant but I just knew that the chicken wings were nice and there was a branch near our school. I had so much food that I almost threw all out. Almost only=)

3. I was involved in my friend's photoshoot for her final project...AS A assitant. It was tiring as I slept when they were shooting the model. Apparently the model was handsome and quite cute, but I was too tired to even look at him and his shots. Haha! But i learnt a lot of how a photoshoot actually look like and how they make-up for the model too. It took a whole full day, of course with some shopping too=) haha!and we had long john silver that night. never eat long john for a LONG LONG TIMe.

4. Went on a one-day cruise with my parents. haha! initally it was fun as the ship began to leave Singapore for the sea. we went around from indonesia to Malaysia and back to Singapore. But we did not alight the cruise ship but just that it stopped in the middle of the sea and those passenger on board the ship can go to the casino or any place to play or relax. Initially, my dad said he could get a room but after which the crew member said that NO!! the reason of why No was too long for me to say. In the end, i played psp in the restaurant for the whole day until my psp said NO batt! and I ended watching shows. But it was a nice and fun experience=)

5. Hope that next week, i have more fun than these. haha! tomorrow, I will need to go back to school to borrow and return books. And the girls are off to Hong kong now. So nice=)

this few days,I am having exams. It was totally horrible. Not only day time but the night too.

the first few days of examination, I had a strange dream about clinicals:

because of my clinical attachment, I had to go to the bukit Batok interchange. and there i saw my ex-classmates laughing at my uniform. They looked at me with strange eyes and they kept laughing which got me super irritated. It was partially because I was waiting for my friend who was being attached to the same place. But the friend that I was waiting was not the same as the one in reality and it was a guy who I did not know who is him and what is his name? and he was super weird, rude, no respect and a sole ranger. When the bus came, he went up with other friends without calling me. And i panicked, strangely. Moreover, i also realised that i did not check my mail and did not know what my supervisor sent me. In addition, I forgot to bring my nametag. Apparently, i was so immersed in the dream that i continued to think about whether i should just go and see a doctor and declared that i was sick on the first day of my clinical since i was late. Suddenly, my mother woke me up. I breathe a sign of relief, knowing that all was just a dream.

the 2nd day of examination, haha! i had another dream.

this time was about frogs. I was wondering whether this dream occur in my home or my grandma's. Apparently, was just a house that i know. so these frogs were everywhere me, on the ceilings, making markings on the walls, all over the walls. and they ranged from big to small. I was thinking of what to do with them. Although i liked frogs, but my frogs were cartoon frogs and not real frogs. So i was thinking of bringing a snake inside to eat them all up. but who would help me to kill the snake? so i decided not to. and my mum woke me up again. so that's the end.

the last day of examination.

I dreamt that i cut my wrist. not delibrately but just an accident. and all was like a separated hand with only the bones intact. so the tendon, the nerves are separated at the wrist level. apparently, i was silly, trying to keep my wrist in neutral and trying to pushing my hand back, joining my forearm at the wrist joint. It was scary and i thought that i needed surgery and hand therapy.

so apparently, my brains were working in the morning, studying and the night too, dreaming about horrible dreams. Why did i not dream of prince charming instead and horrible shows.

That the end of my horror. But at least, I have 2 weeks of holidays. But it is actually a short break to prepare for my clinical, with all the books required to read up.

but it is still happiness.

other people are working hard

I must pass all my exam this time.

my mummy say i am a slacker compared to my jc

left with 2 days, must chiong!!!

hands must complete by today, OT in MH today too.

since i have slept for 14 hours

i will not sleep today=)

Rar...I dun know what to say. I think I did not work hard enough!! and I am going to collect all the teachers last comments after a practical test. I got CHAR, HL, HB s' comments now. " are you too nervous?" Hearing this after every practical test. Strangely, this time i did not run out of the room...crying. Perhaps Wz was with me this time round...or it may be because I have too many this kind of experience which I grown tired of it. How I wish I had the talent from my friend who has this ability to just talk every thing that make so much sense.

I JUST HATE TO TALK, and for the next viva test, I got to grab a friend and rehearse it with me. IF not, words are not coming out of my mouth again. and sorry friends, can u dun say this 2 word- "good luck", I am super sensitive to these words due to my primary school trauma. So jia you or other words are good but not these 2 words.

I am feeling so sad to do anything now. this week is a bad week. I almost got trapped in the lift 2x. It means that I have been trapped in the lift for 4x (2x- succeeded). and i realized that i GOT lift Phobia , I got super tense up when I was alone in the lift and will actually avoid taking the lift and climbed the stairs instead. and I lost my things... I am super sad and frustrated... there are no outlet for me to vent out my anger.

HOWhowhow... and the key to this problem is to WORK HARD AND STOP WHINING, u are ng xiangjun SO STOP all this and Work hard=) I really really love this pic, i got the postcard for this=)

what am i doing at this hour?

Haha! watching video!! tomorrow got presentation.
not that i am excited or stress that there is a presentation tomorrow.
but just that i couldn't get to sleep
but on the other hand, i am happy that i almost finish the video
and I have decided NOT to buy an organiser,
as i have so many note book but after a while, i will start throwing them around and never ever finish using a notebook before.
THerefore, i conclude it will be the same thing as an organiser.
I need to go and sleep
but the show is really very funny
love it to the max
and i finish watching the 20 and 21 episode of autumn concerto.
yea
wanted to load the 19 de, but it does not want to load for me
and i need to save money, no more macs now, at least for dec or expensive food. So poor now

Reality

Rushing for Reports and Reports

Can't go out for outings

Can't go out and shop

But yet, it is just a part of life..."anyway you have to go through it" (Dad, 2010)

Lol! So many things to do!! and i still have 2 reports to hand in.

Got to start now!! plus got 3 presentation

and 1 Presentation tomorrow. and i am still in the last level of the dream world.

Let me have the last dream...going to complete the "story time" drama series.

and i wanted to buy a new wallet, finally wallet pronounce dead le as the coins keep dropping from my wallet.

i need a NEW wallet, but what i wanted best is shopping and Nature walk and tv time just by myself=)

AND MY COM is weird

Marking the first day of a New year, was just the rain. I can see reflection taking place in everyone's blogs. Actually, i wanted to say something. But it just so happened that when i wanted to type it down, i forget everything.

Reality Game Final Episode

Frank:(huh?) Hello

Truth: How are you feeling now? Are you feeling alright, still feeling feverish?

Frank: I am ok! Thanks for calling.

Truth: Are you coming to school tomorrow?

Frank: I think so.

Truth: Can you meet me at level 2 at the wooden bench? at 11am?

Frank: Okay. I will be there. But is there anything important?

Truth: I have something to tell you tomorrow... Bye bye (putting down the phone at a very fast speed)

Truth's thoughts: I have finally did it. Yea!!

Frank: (smiling to herself)

-------------------------------------------------------------------
The next day (8th November 2010)

Frank was waiting at level 2, sitting at the bench. Frank was reading her notes, while she waited. At 11am, there was still no one.

Frank: maybe he is just late. Shall wait for a while longer.

(Clock shows 11.11 am) Suddenly, there were a lot of balloons floating upwards. Frank looked out of the windows and saw the balloons. On every Balloon, it wrote: pls look out of the balcony.

Frank: (Ran out of the room and looked down)

What Frank saw: Truth's friends formed a heart shape. One of Truth's Friends said: "Hi Frank, Truth had something to say to you".

Truth: (was being pushed out of the crowd) Hi Frank, How are you?

Truth's Friend: Pls say the main point, it is getting scorching hot here...

Truth: Alright! Frank, will you be my girlfriend? I know that you might think that i am a playboy. But actually i am not. I am a very faithful person and i hope that u will trust me.... Sorry, pls wait for a moment. I forget what i wanted to say (taking out his script).

Frank: Smilez.

Frank's Friends: Accept him, Frank.

Frank ran down the stairs. Truth ran up the stairs. They meet halfway and Truth said: "will u be my girlfriend"

Frank: Yes.

and they lived happily forever. They got married after 3 years later when Truth got his promotion as a manager.

And for the misunderstanding of Puff being Truth's real penpal was solved. Truth and Frank are forever in love.

Happy ending!!

*Though in real life, some may not believe that there is true love in this world. But as long as you believe, it will come true. May all gain happiness in 2011 and forever. Find your true love, k!

Dedicated to my Counselor:

ha ha! It was fun spending time with my friends during the eve of Happy New Year. With a New start, hope that everything will be smooth sailing. The fireworks was super nice and it bomb bomb bomb, with my eyes busy staring at the sky and my hands busy clicking on the camera!! It is super nice, and it was the first time that i see firework less than a basketball field distance away from me. However, it was so short-lived and after which it make me realized that I will be 21 next year.

The eve, I went to school early in the morning and did my LR report. It is almost done, but still left with one reference. I will get it print by tomorrow. Hope that I will do fine for this report. After which, I edited my projects slides and did some thinking for my Home report. At least, I started=) AND I went to shop and buy clothes at Bugis. Though, we have walked for hours. My friends bought their clothes, pencil box... but I haven't buy a watch yet. I need a formal Watch. (next birthday Present)

This week was...i am not sure whether I am productive or not:

On monday: Did Leisure presentation, slides, Buffet and shopping. In the end, I was so sleepy that i need to take a rest. So i slept the whole night

On tuesday: Went early to bedok for OT in Mh, eat popp! after that did the Comm project. After which, i slept on the bus home. Went home to do counseling report (Intro)

On wed: COunseling Report (Part 1). For the whole day, cause i was reading the book and thinking about how to write

On thurs: This also happened (Part 2). BUt read the Part 3. (Need to do the box out on sat)

On Fri: Whatever, i wrote in the first paragraph. Home report only did in point form.

On sat/ Sun: AIm to print out the Lifestyle Redesign Report. Complete Counseling Part 3, and half of HOme report.