"gains and losses is not important"
"as long as everyone is together"
September 29, 2009
September 28, 2009
sometimes, no matter how hard you have work, as long as something is missing, all efforts will be gone in the end.
Now, i am really feeling feeling very upset. i do not feel like doing anything. i cannot even pass the 1st semester and i may need to retain one year. though, results for the retest is not out yet. yet, my confidence level is 0% and i know that i will fail. many time of trying seem not to be working on me at all, perhaps practice make perfect for me, yet without any single practice and like sudden exposure to things, just freaked me out. perhaps, simply speaking, i am not suitable for this course at all. perhaps, i should go back to my scientific region and i should not danger other people's life including my own. Perhaps, i am just not suitable for this course at all.
really, perhaps that my ke xin arh...
Constantly turning my life, going to schools that is not arrange for me in the first place. yet, moving here and there and finally, i manage to reach here. coming to this point, i have given up a lot of things, which i really want. pursuing somthing that i may long to want it . yet at this point in time....though, i really wanted to continue. but if i really continue in this way, i am really going to freaked out soon. being in this course, i have seen my results at the lowest peak throughout my 11 years of education. if this does not include english. Now, i seriously do not know what to do at all. thinking that going to this course will be something that i always wanted, yet this module just dashed my hope. Perhaps, i am really those type of people of people who can only study theory and yet for other things IQ IS AS LOW AS - 100.
just felt so useless and why i can't just have some street smart that others have. huang xiang jun, are you really that useless. at this point in time, i really just want to take a very very long sleep and never wake up. no wonder, last night i dream of funeral.
perhaps and perhaps, i really do not know what to do!!
but sometimes thinking that others have been working hard, despite years of failure and finally reaching their goal. i knew that i should not give up so easily. perhaps, sometimes my determination will bring me somewhere. but i really hope that my determination can really bring me somewhere this time.
this time, i must pass my A- level english. perhaps, i can only say this is my life since i choose this path. but as long as i have determination, i believe one day i will be able to graduate from semester. After all, i really do not want to have any regret regarding my studies or any other things. N i really want to prove myself wrong that i can actually do it and succeed in all this.
i am going to drag my determination further than i can ever imagine.
Now, i am really feeling feeling very upset. i do not feel like doing anything. i cannot even pass the 1st semester and i may need to retain one year. though, results for the retest is not out yet. yet, my confidence level is 0% and i know that i will fail. many time of trying seem not to be working on me at all, perhaps practice make perfect for me, yet without any single practice and like sudden exposure to things, just freaked me out. perhaps, simply speaking, i am not suitable for this course at all. perhaps, i should go back to my scientific region and i should not danger other people's life including my own. Perhaps, i am just not suitable for this course at all.
really, perhaps that my ke xin arh...
Constantly turning my life, going to schools that is not arrange for me in the first place. yet, moving here and there and finally, i manage to reach here. coming to this point, i have given up a lot of things, which i really want. pursuing somthing that i may long to want it . yet at this point in time....though, i really wanted to continue. but if i really continue in this way, i am really going to freaked out soon. being in this course, i have seen my results at the lowest peak throughout my 11 years of education. if this does not include english. Now, i seriously do not know what to do at all. thinking that going to this course will be something that i always wanted, yet this module just dashed my hope. Perhaps, i am really those type of people of people who can only study theory and yet for other things IQ IS AS LOW AS - 100.
just felt so useless and why i can't just have some street smart that others have. huang xiang jun, are you really that useless. at this point in time, i really just want to take a very very long sleep and never wake up. no wonder, last night i dream of funeral.
perhaps and perhaps, i really do not know what to do!!
but sometimes thinking that others have been working hard, despite years of failure and finally reaching their goal. i knew that i should not give up so easily. perhaps, sometimes my determination will bring me somewhere. but i really hope that my determination can really bring me somewhere this time.
this time, i must pass my A- level english. perhaps, i can only say this is my life since i choose this path. but as long as i have determination, i believe one day i will be able to graduate from semester. After all, i really do not want to have any regret regarding my studies or any other things. N i really want to prove myself wrong that i can actually do it and succeed in all this.
i am going to drag my determination further than i can ever imagine.
September 20, 2009
if i continue to come online during this holiday (which end on 18), without a good reason (check email n writing blog is a gd reason but playing games and watching of video and including going out w/o....is a BAD reason)...JUST CALL ME A NUJ GNAIX!!!
at least i have completed part of my previous resolution ---no 1,6,7,8 and 5 is almost complete...just give me a long long sunday!!!
Today, i have a quite fun day with my aunt. she brought me to the buddhist temple to do volunteering job. OF course, i dont think there is any cip hours awarded..but never mind ba! It is quite fun. i get to know a lot of adults as usual, most of them are uncle and aunties!! hearing the way they speak, is quite fun too. After the briefing, we board the cars of stranger and get to our destination to give rices to the elderly. OF COURSE again, i do not need to carry the heavy bags! gee! some of the elderly do not allow us to go into the house, while some are staying in 4 room flat, yet their family are experiencing financial difficulties therefore they require some assistance. After visiting 4 flats, the volunteering session end about 1 pm. After that, i went to tiong to buy stickers...in the end, i still did not buy.
NOW, I HAVE TO EAT MY FOOD! mummy only bought otah back home for me, yet they ate nice good food at the fair.
@_@
at least i have completed part of my previous resolution ---no 1,6,7,8 and 5 is almost complete...just give me a long long sunday!!!
Today, i have a quite fun day with my aunt. she brought me to the buddhist temple to do volunteering job. OF course, i dont think there is any cip hours awarded..but never mind ba! It is quite fun. i get to know a lot of adults as usual, most of them are uncle and aunties!! hearing the way they speak, is quite fun too. After the briefing, we board the cars of stranger and get to our destination to give rices to the elderly. OF COURSE again, i do not need to carry the heavy bags! gee! some of the elderly do not allow us to go into the house, while some are staying in 4 room flat, yet their family are experiencing financial difficulties therefore they require some assistance. After visiting 4 flats, the volunteering session end about 1 pm. After that, i went to tiong to buy stickers...in the end, i still did not buy.
NOW, I HAVE TO EAT MY FOOD! mummy only bought otah back home for me, yet they ate nice good food at the fair.
@_@
September 19, 2009
o crap! left with 1 more day to finish all my tasks, that i laid for myself.
and my english revision; i must finish by today to be able to start on my compre and compo next week. In order to be able to go for the malaysia, i must be able to complete my revision. But at least, i have a goal to complete! during next week, i must also help my aunt to do some document work and it consists of a whole stack!! haha! i must also finish that, or i will feel very apologetic.
however i may be flooded with lots of work next week, i am still hoping to eat bbq buffet! BUT when i about to think of the $17 and $10 (which i am about to spend on birthdays), i felt at most reluctant to get out of my house and to enjoy the food that i like. I magine the sushi, meat, ice cream flying across your face... i should not be thinking of food.
everyone is working so hard to earn money and i am still playing at home, should i be sad or happy? i am watching sharkboy now and later i have to study my english. Tomorrow, i have to wake up like 8 plus to meet my aunt (which i find difficulties, when everyday i have been waking up at 12 noon.) i have wasted so many hours sleeping, which i really do not want! i am thinking of buying a alarm clock with the pooh bear (cost about 6.90) but will that wake me up...i truely wondered.
the next post, i will write my resolution ba! I WILL BE ABLE TO GO TO MY GRANDMA'S HOUSE TMR and probably go to the food festival at suntec city tomorrow ( and i can eat again, with my parents paying but of course, we do share our food)...but my mother just pull out her tooth today, or i will be able to eat those goodies today...
@_@
and my english revision; i must finish by today to be able to start on my compre and compo next week. In order to be able to go for the malaysia, i must be able to complete my revision. But at least, i have a goal to complete! during next week, i must also help my aunt to do some document work and it consists of a whole stack!! haha! i must also finish that, or i will feel very apologetic.
however i may be flooded with lots of work next week, i am still hoping to eat bbq buffet! BUT when i about to think of the $17 and $10 (which i am about to spend on birthdays), i felt at most reluctant to get out of my house and to enjoy the food that i like. I magine the sushi, meat, ice cream flying across your face... i should not be thinking of food.
everyone is working so hard to earn money and i am still playing at home, should i be sad or happy? i am watching sharkboy now and later i have to study my english. Tomorrow, i have to wake up like 8 plus to meet my aunt (which i find difficulties, when everyday i have been waking up at 12 noon.) i have wasted so many hours sleeping, which i really do not want! i am thinking of buying a alarm clock with the pooh bear (cost about 6.90) but will that wake me up...i truely wondered.
the next post, i will write my resolution ba! I WILL BE ABLE TO GO TO MY GRANDMA'S HOUSE TMR and probably go to the food festival at suntec city tomorrow ( and i can eat again, with my parents paying but of course, we do share our food)...but my mother just pull out her tooth today, or i will be able to eat those goodies today...
@_@
September 9, 2009
hoho! another day which is wasted. i had been spending the whole day sleeping and i think that i had flu again; wondering if i will be able to finish my resolution any way! But i will make sure i finish my task, especially those with permanent deadline. Someone birthday is coming again. i had to spend quite a sum of money again. i got to save up!
September 8, 2009
hohoho! lets end the game now.
everything comes to a end eventually.
whether you like it or not,
the feelings,
the atmosphere,
the emotions,
everything will finally come to a end
will you let it be
or will you pursue your own happiness
please make your choice.
how i hope to be more decisive in all ways and not in some ways
how i hope to be more independent in all things
how i hope to be more forever energetic
how i hope , how i hope...
life is always feel with hopes,
yet hopes and miracles seemed to be as small as a sparksyet without you,
life is meaningless
so lets hope for our dreams to come true,
with success and determination
our goal will be reached!
Resolution to be done by 20 sept 2010:
1.eat porridge buffet
2.eat sushi buffet
3.eat waffle buffet
4.go to the zoo
5.complete my eng revision
6.complete my sleep timetable
7.complete my volunteering work (still finding the location)
8.manage to find a drama show that i really want to watch
9.finish the 2 bottles of stars
hohoho! so let's go...pokemon
everything comes to a end eventually.
whether you like it or not,
the feelings,
the atmosphere,
the emotions,
everything will finally come to a end
will you let it be
or will you pursue your own happiness
please make your choice.
how i hope to be more decisive in all ways and not in some ways
how i hope to be more independent in all things
how i hope to be more forever energetic
how i hope , how i hope...
life is always feel with hopes,
yet hopes and miracles seemed to be as small as a sparksyet without you,
life is meaningless
so lets hope for our dreams to come true,
with success and determination
our goal will be reached!
Resolution to be done by 20 sept 2010:
1.eat porridge buffet
2.eat sushi buffet
3.eat waffle buffet
4.go to the zoo
5.complete my eng revision
6.complete my sleep timetable
7.complete my volunteering work (still finding the location)
8.manage to find a drama show that i really want to watch
9.finish the 2 bottles of stars
hohoho! so let's go...pokemon
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)