LAMER POST

haha! at last the letter came to my house letter box... this is the first time, i felt so happy for this few weeks. i simply cannot stop smiling. i hope that i can survive the four years of lessons too and this time, i will work extremely hard! at least, i hope that my determination will last throughout the four years. haha! i am so happy that at least this door is opened for me. Beyond this door leads to a narrow but a very meaningful path...though, now i am feeling a bit of scared, yet filled with happiness.but now, feeling confused but still extremely happy!!!!!!!!but i still feeling extremely confused that what i told secret reader. but after all, due to this few days of considering, i think i should pursuit my interest and partially my dream.
i got into the therapy (OT) course! HURRAY! HURRAY! HURRAY! perhaps, afterall finishing the A-level,it is everyone's dream to go into university. Frankly speaking, it is mine too! But upon receiving my certificate, the most important subject actually... but luckily, this course requires A-level certificate in order to apply, so i did not waste my 2-years of education. luckily all the students there will be the same age as me or even older or i will feel extremely weird somehow.And it is a good thing that i read that bronchures lots of time and that bronchure kept appearing in front of me for about 3 times, with 2 times ended in the rubbish bin. but at last, i caught it.and this dream can also partially fulfil my childhood dream of becoming a doctor, with the white robe and perhaps seeing patients happily leaving the hospitals. So, i think i will most likely carry on with my dream, helping a lot of people.
And if i get into university, most likely it will be engineering course. Though i will also work hard to get a degree, it is still not what i really liked.At least, this is what i think upon reading the modules.But at this point in time, i only dream about therapy therapy therapy...To many people, i am actually going back to the start. i knew that too and all my friends will be in year 3 and 2. They called me weird, as going to JJ instead of AJ. have the ability to get into pri UNI or the singa uni (least popular course)w/o the criteria of GP to get aT least a degree or so, yet choose to go poly. and rejecting the 2-year food course and get the must-3-year course.Me, myself, considered to be weird...the things that i like, even my parents, find it hard to understand. SO since i am weird, all my friends are also weird! oK , now i am talking craps!
HAHA! But the worst thing is the form have to be completed by friday , with a lot of document...but i enjoyed getting into the school.
This time, i can talk about my feelings le...
that day, when i really got back my result slips. I stared at it for a long time, infront of ms Martin. Finally, i realised my results. i am the kind that can get back to repeat J2...becos of english.so probably, one will know how is my results.
i was rather in a shock and helpless to where i am supposed to go. It is a disaster for me, luckily with YR and XX that accompany me to the leture hall to listen to the talk and repeat the things that the teacher said. So, that week after, practically, i have not talk to most of my friends unless they called...so sms not to say, is no reply. That week, i have to carry on to hand in my application to all polys, jc and uni.but uni, i haven't handed in yet until now. I felt really very confused as in what should i do...so i have to hand in forms in order to find the correct key to open all the doors. Luckily Val, was having holidays so she practically accompany me and help out too. Perhaps, she knew i will be very confused too.And i was afraid that JJ called me much earlier than an of the school.So, I practically was pestering the admin of one of the poly every 3 days to see whether i am accepted. as the therapy course really really is my interest too...and the scariest thing do happened, jj called me on last sat.Because, i never listen to her call a couple of times and in fact, i kept missing it so i was the last student to be notified.In fact, i was supposed to report to school today. However, without preparation and work notification, i changed my date to next mon. Luckily, the letter came today. Or else, i will be in woodbridge soon...not as a therapist but a patient. And the best thing is today is my MUMMY birthday...all along i was wondering whether will i receive the letter today, indeed my wish really come true! and my balloon and capsule wish do come true.
Miracle do happen, this time i really believe it.
Random: there is a lot of stars surrounding us. every stars represent a hope from every individual, it is this hope that leads us to a pathway filled with miracles.
Finally, i will like to thanks:
VAL: accompanying me to almost every school=)
JER: who did my work as well as chatted=)
SHAO: the longest friend who cares=)
secret R: first one to sms, as well as showing me courage for nature reserves...truely a person who makes me admire=)...happy or not
YR:sms me...though very cold person...=)
XH: allowing her house to be my refuge and com too and chatted=)
LIT/KJX: supporting me with words and sms=) and KJX, luckily don't need to repeat jc2 and take the A-LEVEL WITH you
FINALLY,
of course. it is my very dearest family. though, i thought my father will be very angry and disappointed. and of course, i knew that they are very disappointing. Yet, they did not show in front of me. As their child, i am really very glad to have such supporting parents. With their words and smiles and jokes, it makes me loosen up!!!
during the incident, though i fell, on the other hand, it makes me realised a lot of things which i have not yet discovered. FRIENDSHIP, COURAGE, FAILURE as well as KINSHIP.

last week, i got a shock in my life. all my friends around me seems to have already plan ahead. yet, i am always ignorant of this fact. they have already past by me miles away in the path of thoughts. they knew clearly about their future. however, i am still standing at the starting point. from the past, my life can be said to be planned by my parents, from the secondary sch to jc. it is not that they don't give my the freedom, it is that i still do not have a goal that i really wanted. so getting into QUEST from the start, it is not actually planned. INSTEAD, it is because fate does not allow me to get into another school. however, this fate has actually brought me to the right path. Yet, this road has brought me to another junction. this time, i was given the right to choose. This time, knowing my parents wanted me to get into the Jc road, i just went ahead. yet, i still did not know my flaws. and this small flaws has become the biggest mountains in my life. though, there are many doors that are beside the mountain...however, this doors are not open for me or the time is not yet up...next week, i will be really become very close friends with the receptionist

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Losing Someone You love affection and the people in your life more than anything. Your greatest fear is that one day someone you care about won't be there anymore. You are a very friendly and inviting person, who draws in a lot of friendships with your kind, considerate, and loyal nature. However, deep down you are slightly insecure and unsure of yourself. You couldn't deal with it if you didn't have one of your loved ones in your life anymore. You don't have too much to worry about though, because with a friend like you, no one will want to lose you either!
Being Alone
Disappointment
Looked down on
Commitment
Death
Where Your life is Going
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

What's Your Best Quality? Your Result: Personality Your best quality is your personality! People like you because you are an all around good person. You have good manners and values. You also like to express your personal style and interests.
Loving
Out-Going
Intelligence
Ambitious
Sense of Humor
What's" Your Best Quality? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

The mind reading quiz!! Your Result: number 4 you chose number 4. you think i'm amazing right? of course you do everyone does i'm only the coolest person you will ever even here of and if you think otherwise you are a loser and should go get a life
number 2
number 3
number 1
number 5
The mind reading quiz!! Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

what should ur real name be Your Result: Vanessa Your name should be vanessa ur a smartgirl sometimes clumsy but is very smart you are a neat freak nothing messy and sometimes have a crush on famous guys..
Claire
Ashley
Callie
what should ur real name be Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Whos your perfect match (Girls only) Your Result: William Yes he may be an outcast but once you get to know him you feel alright. The first time he kissed you your heart almost went through your chest. He also said the he was nervous. In the end you end up staying together. William becomes poular and you guys are voted king and queen of prom
Eric
Carter
James
Whos your perfect match (Girls only) Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Your score on this personality test was 58%

Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

Personality Quiz
Take More Quizzes

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Science/Math Nerd (Absolute Insane Laughter as you pour toxic chemicals into a foaming tub of death!) Well, maybe you aren't this extreme, but you're in league with the crazy scientists/mathmeticians of today. Very few people have the talent of math and science is something takes a lot of brains as well. Thank whosever God you worship, or don't worship, so thank no deity whatsoever in your case, for you people! Most of us would have died off without your help.
Social Nerd
Artistic Nerd
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Drama Nerd
Literature Nerd
Anime Nerd
Musician
What Be Your Nerd Type? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

i did not know what i should be writing in the first place too...
this time, i knew the result will be something like that once i finish the exam. but i still carry a small hope. however, life is not always in its right way. perhaps, this is my destiny that is pushing me into this path. i hope the road that i am taking now...i will be able to succeed as i will be moving to a path that seldom anyone will be taking at this point of time. but i really like it a lot which i finally realised it and though some of my friends' counselling did disturb my decision. yet, i strongly believe this is the path that i wanted. so it really depends whether they will give me the opportunity to move into this path that i really wanted. and i will write in my blog when i successfully get into this place and call those that i should tell and of course my friends which is the secret reader and the gang. but... perhaps it may not turn out the way that i wish for later on, i am still grateful to say that we will always be a bunch of best friends though i may not have the courage to communicate with some of you now.but i will not forget all of you, and i believe that i will call you once i have the courage to face all this, really on my own and you will be able to see the old xj, the characteristics that you once knew. there will be one day, when i will call you, just give me about a month but don't you dare to ignore my call...or i will be marching to your house though i am not sure where is it.and for now, i really thanks those sms and friends' call of concern. i know that i did not reply to this smses, because when i read it...i really don't know what should i write. i was really very afraid that i will not be able to get in and i hate to break down and cry...
just holding tears that i no longer wanted...
i really wish that i will get into it though i may have to go for interviews and appealing...
the last entries for now....
your regards,
xiangjun

A STORY
someone did say that there is always a story behind a picture,
it is up to you whether you really want to know=)

A SIMPLE HAPPINESS
his smile...her smile,
seems so sweet and simple.
for them,
life is always filled with obstacles.
yet they lived and carried on with their life,
with their heads up high...
from them,
i cannot see greed,
jealousy,
envious...
but just simplicity and innocence.
i always use to think that
there will not be anyone in the world who can do that,
even the actors and actress seems so fake.
but the moment i saw them,
my heart is filled with warmth.
their smiles and laughters melt my hard and cold heart...
from them...
i learn the most precious lesson that i ever had,
their life may be hard for them at the start or even at the peak...
yet, they carries a smile that no one can beat.
their voice may seems husk and rough...
yet,
their hearts are pure and innocent.
i can see nothing nothing...
but only their true self.
their simplicity is their happiness,
yet this happiness is hard to achieve...

A STRANGER
in a school,
without any hope...
you step towards me.
we walk together to the only bus stop.
you was always there,
when i needed you.
i helped to solve your problems and you told me your inner hearts'
i was very happy,
however the joy was never lasting...
you left suddenly...
if friendship was so short and swift,
i wish i have never known you...

P.S: this two article are just random ! they are written to suit the music! so dun use that to suan me=) ginger

A LONER
sometimes it is not up to us to decide what we really want,
some may choose to follow their fate, while
some may choose to create their road, while
some does not know what they really wanted!
i always wonder if i really make the wrong road in my life,
being always unprepared in all the sudden changes in life,
just make my heart feel cold and hard.
no matter what others always says,
i always feel like i was alone at certain period of time...
though friends are always there to help out,
but i feel that they do not really knows my heart.
some may feel and knew that all along...
if they really understand me.
i am glad that they are always there to help me and give me a hand.
however, being out with them
i feel happiness... but deep inside my heart there is always something that i cannot open up
even if it is my parents...they too do not have the key.
i hate to say so, but i feel that i am wearing a mask that others does not know
even if it is me, i don't really know my true self.
now i am feeling that i am swimming in the ocean,
which is endless and without a island which i really can rest on.
this place is hard to find,
and even if i found one,
i may not even know whether i really can rely on.
if time really can prove it,
how long must i realise that it is really the place that i want to go.
what if i really take the step out, which is wrong...
will i have the courage to move on or to even get back to the start where everyone is ahead of me, miles away...
someone did say before, she has never ever regret or think about her decisions once she has make her choice. feeling admiration for her, but i can hardly accept that part.
i don't believe that one really can do things that she or he has never ever think about the other path that they may once have taken. this is a hard week for me!
i am imersed in fear and pain for the agony that is nearing me,
i am scared that i have to go back to the start.
this is a reality game, and not just any snake and ladder or aeroplane game that i used to play.
when i was young, i was afraid of being left out by others, even if i was in a game,
i used to cry when i was at the bottom. it is not hard to accept that one actually lost but it is the fear that was created by being left out.
moving back to the start or even moving to a new point,
can it really be once again... a happiness for me or just another point of sadness...