About 3 months ago, i happened to know that i was pregnant. I was very happy and very thankful that i finally got pregnant because i have waited for  2 years. And i knew that my husband all along wanted a little baby in the house... 

It came with uncertainty as i heard of lots of miscarriage stories and working as health care line before.... i did read about pregnancy and the complications. I was worried that i cannot protect my baby. 

One by one the check up, some check up has to be repeated again and again. Expenses were high and i was very worried about the future expenses that it could bring and i was worried that i cannot accompany my teddy till the end of time. 

He made the decisions for me to switch to a private as he hoped for better care. But expenses were really high and i am really worried. Plus not a very good news came. Baby seemed to be alright but mummy seemed to need some luck from god. I hope i can enjoy my pregnancy although the first three months morning sickness was very bad. 

I really hope that little baby bear will be healthy and safe. And my teddy will stop needing to worry for us and spend more on us too..

Life is really full of uncertainty and hope i will be here writing my blog at week 32.

It had been a year since I posted a post over here....

Now, I has a new role which is a wife to my teddy. The year has been lots of happiness at home. On the other hand, there has been some unhappiness. But majority, there are more happiness and alot of things to give and take. 

That is for my family. 

How about my work wise? Thinking backwards, my first day as a trainee teacher, it had been quite relaxing. Though pay was very low, I felt relaxed and followed the instructions given. As time passed, I grad from a trainee teacher and became a full fledged teacher. Workload was more and I had to take more responsibility and work wise increased really a lot. Year after year... I pursued my degree and a scholarship too. The same year as my marriage starts, I got my degree and continued as a teacher...

Perhaps, it was the workload that I could not cope. Perhaps, cause I stressed over 'no kids' yet. Perhaps, I was just burnt out of the work and the same level that I have been teaching since five years ago. Every time was the same... nothing had changed much. 

Watching the chinese 'offer' show, made me think of changing and finding some place which I could learn learn and move along... Thinking of other friends who took the brave step to move to other sectors and job, even if it was not due to covid. 

Just now, we just argue about posting a couple photo in his facebook profile. I can understand that it creates a big hoo-ha the other time, when he updates his relationship status. I really appreciates that. Perhaps, i get more demanding. I have a friend in reality that really do not post any photos. In fact, he added a lot of girls inside his facebook because the girls were pretty. and he is hiding the fact that he is married. His friends posted a picture of him being married. He blocked the photo and do not let others view.

No information of him and his girlfriend too. His actions in reality are very intimate with others. So we really wonder what is his thoughts are. Though i am very sure that my teddy wont do that, there are still periods of sudden thoughts. ultimately, i cannot be 24 hours fully confident of it everyday. I am not the worm in his tummy to fully understand what he is thinking too.

Just need a single picture. The love for his self ego is still less than the love for me?

not demanding a lot of picture. if a lot of people like his picture in facebook, maybe is because they do not know about it too...
My mentality is still different from others. I ended up deleting my facebook, just to avoid thinking too much.