Jus heard one of my favourite song in the radio( 93.3fm)... every night, I will listen to the radio until I fall asleep and it has been a routine ever since a few years back.

One of my best friend sms me to ask if I can meet as she wants to redeem her birthday meal from me... but I was meeting my online friend and I rejected.  But she seems quite upset so I cancelled the meeting with my friend and decided to meet her. After that, she said she had agreed to meet someone else... got ps. On e other hand, wanted to ask back my online friend...yet, it seems weird and like not very good too. So in the end, decided not to. Another friend ask me if I am free so decided to go out then... sorry to my online friend too. As in decided to meet after a long time of contemplating and persuasion from my kor, it perhaps not the right time...

Have been on the app for quite some time and since,have been making new friends but not a longtime partner... perhaps it is time to give it a stop and wait until I finish studying. But is really getting good results that important to me? Frankly speaking, I am not sure too. My close friend said that I am a result orientated person... yet, if u do not want good result , y do u even study? For knowledge and how to prove that u are capturing info? Through exams...? Getting more and more critical,and the feeling to explore the outside world and not jus stay in my classroom is getting stronger as the day passes... I need a break and I got envious but not jealous when others are on their break.  I love what I am doing and I really want to learn... and there is a missing puzzle in my life and trying to find him or her...:(  anyway, I handed the form for the scholarship and need to wait if there is a chance for the interview... then decide how ba.

After pondering for quite some time...decided to apply for the scholarship... at least, give it a try. may or may not get it... but at least, I tried. need to pass the interviews too. anyway, this is the last time and there is no other chance because of some criteria. On the other hand, I really hope i can get... but what if i really get it... sometimes, I really think that I think too much.

Met a long time no-see online friend... one of the online people that quite chatty with... but it was a long time since we chatted. and it was a sudden " happy birthday" that results in the meet-up. When we meet, jus like good friends who can chat about anything. He asked me, " what kind of guy attracts me?" He just asked as a friend and I dun think that there is any mutual attraction. At least, not for me. There is a time where I really think that I am a les. But after that, I realise that I am not. Frankly speaking... I am not sure what I am looking for too either. My cousin asked me this question recently...like what kind of guy I am looking for?

I am just looking for someone who can click easily, can be themselves. Dun need to pretend. Perhaps, this will start off as friends. Or maybe, I have someone in my heart... but did not realise it. Questions questions...??? Only have 3 crushes before... is it too much? 1 is in secondary school... but I did not have the crush until I saw him coincidentally at the mrt station... after a lot of years after we grad from sec school. That probably was the last crush. The first crush was my chem teacher in jc. He was the nerdy kind that I like and of course, I wanted to be the chem rep. But that was just a crush and in the end, my chem results was crush too and turns out not to be so good. 2nd crush was my colleague and he is nice and plus kind. I know he is kind because of the numerous volunteer works and of his job. He is also smart... but ultimately, he is of different religion and I am also not interested in dating... no courage to confess too.

After talking to my cousin and his persuasion, I fill up the online form for some dating thing. But when they called me, I realised that I am actually not at all ready... I am not sure to be a relationship needs to be ready or not. But since a lot of people have been asking and saying that... I understand it needs a lot of commitment and that;s for sure. I think to be in a relationship, need to be at the right moment and though the person is not a 100 % that you wan...which will never be that case... but I think it needs to be just at the right time, I know that perhaps this is the best age to go in dating or even marriage. But finding the right person and not regretting it is more important than being afraid of loneliness and finding the person. Anyway, lets nature takes it's course. when it supposed to come, it will come.

Let me settle my work and assignment. Hong Kong, here I come soon!!!

Sometimes, one just needs to find the right moment, place and time. 

Early in the morning, went out with my friend to ECP. It had been a long while, a few months back since I went to ECP. Too busy these few months. Lack of exercise, no stamina and apparently, age is catching up. Cycled to Marina barrage through the connector... This time, at least I did not keep banging into walls often. Only bang twice and did not cause any tiles to drop. But still, I could not keep up to my friend's speed... but being a sweet friend, she encouraged me and waited for me. HAHAHA. 

After that, she brought me to parkway parade as i tend to lost my way often. And there, i met my cousin. Good news, he was going to ask the girl to be his gf soon. It had been long since i heard some good news from my maternal side. But good, it also means no one going to give me a spare room to keep my clothes. Haix... but happy for him. Hope he will be able to find the feeling that he wants soon. But still quite confused... how can a guy ask someone to be a girlfriend if he does not feel for the girl... maybe love needs time to "grow"?

Next, haha! being a super sweet cousin, he accompanied me to bugis junction to meet my friend. Often, I lost my way especially if it is not regular route. Haha! that's why, neither I go for the driving test or drive. Take public transport also a problem liao. haix. But anyway, glad to meet another friend... too long never meet her le. still the same old us... walk around and ate japanese food at bugis cube. A super ulu place... and she accompanied me to walk around so that i can go home when someone is around... haha! forgot to bring my key. I think getting more and more sotong liao. 

In the night, too tired le. chat with online friend for a while and slept. Dun know whether it is right to keep chatting online... my cousin asked me to go for the dating app where you have to pay for it....

Going to go mad. Super envious of my cousin who got married to his love of his life. I mean when can I find one? Online? So insecure. Around friends? Dun even meet new guys... forget it. Haix

Collected my school books. Starting the study regime n work regime. The hq ppl is coming to check the classroom n lots of things on monday. Life is it about work n study. I really wants to go overseas to see and open my vision to different things. Since there is no one to tie me down, I really want to explore the world when my parents still have each other and are healthy. I can be more independent and sensible... wanted to fulfil my dream of volunteering at rural places since no commitment.

Jus received a gd news! My best friend is now attached. Happy for her and now left with me le. But really feel glad for her. The one that she say runs slowly n need to be waited... is her fated one. Life is so unpredictable. But on the other hand, my Bro fell out of love. Life...

Time to sleep n to memorize the notes tmr. Pray n hope that the 1 will be out soon. Should I go for class gathering, but if I booked the hk ticket then confirm dun need to go le. Wanted to see how others r doing though...