It had been months since everything had finally settled. Been through a lot... Though I kept complaining about my work, I love my role as a therapist. In the past (from primary to poly) , I hate to interact with people and I don't like others to ask about my personal things and similarly hated to ask others about theirs. I am also not those girls who liked to talk alot and I simply just like to be blend into the wall, making myself transparent. Currently, I would still like to be transparent...I treasure the moments with my patients. At times, I am guilty of not doing the best for my patients and I conducted a very lousy group session. However, I am very fortunate to have a group of very cute patients who are always there encouraging me and thanks me for whatever I have done. Actually, I should be the one who wanted to thank them for whatever they had done. Their cooperativeness and their smiles on their face despite their condition were my motivation to move on. Despite my work is hectic, I felt that my happiest moment was the time when I was with my patients.
I had a patient who was very young and went back to overseas. At the last therapy session, I asked her if she would miss me...and she said YES. I was very happy, on the other hand, sad that she had to leave. Similarly, I had another patient who had the same birthday as me and I discharged him out of therapy session. He was a very very cute old man, who always said that I was his grand-daughter. Some people came for therapy because they wanted to recover. On the other hand, some people came here because they need a place to receive concerns from other people. Last time when I am a student, I don't joke with my patients and I only keep asking questions and questions about their lifestyle. This makes me feel that I am intruding into their privacy. However when I started working, I started to say all sort of things to them and ask them different kinds of questions as well as lots of joke. To them, I am young so many patients are like a grandparent to me. My colleague had a patient who can't see clearly and always call my name whenever she saw a lady who had the same figure or height as me. She even taught me how to gamble with cards when I went to talk to her during free waiting time. My patients were so cute... One patient always pretend to be very sad when he see me. I would always disturb him and he would always smilez:)
During this period of working as a therapist, I think I am lacking of something which I think is confidence as well as exposure to people, things and culture. I think I am too simple-minded (if put it in a nicer way) and I need to learn to be more confident as well as to be more independent. Being the only child, I felt that I am too dependent on my parents in all aspect except studies. I really need the period of time to be alone and learnt to live alone. As my time in this world will be shorter than other people, I really treasured every time spent. I think I will need to explore and do the things that I like. Studying for many years, I had never go on a trip(even to malaysia) with my family. I am too engrossed with my studies as I deemed bad results as failure. It was a big big thing for me. After gone through many things, I realised that one should do things that he or she likes and wanted to do. And the things that I wished to do is to
1. to go overseas and complete my studies
2. go for mission trip every year
3. bring laughter to my family and patients
4. bring the best for my patients
