Recently, haven't been the best of mood. Was feeling very upset and cried a few times..Supposed everything was planned and arranged to celebrate my birthday. But things did not go smoothly at all.  Teddy has system fault, in which he did not accompany me to go night safari..Or in fact, he is trapped in the island for the weekend. Exam is coming and I did not have much time or the mood to do my notes, jus that things did not go as planned.

Perhaps, one will say is nothing and should not be upset. But is like a sequence of things. And one can't proceed on without the previous being completed. In the end, I m feeling really down. 

My life is not evolving in one person. Yet, I feel I m being evolved in one person and I feel not happy at all. Exam coming soon n studies..Supposed to be very happy becos I m going to graduate. Yet, all such things did not flow smoothly at all.

Finally, happy birthday to myself, the 28th year old me!!!

Sometimes, I just admire my friends who are couple. Their boyfriends will fetch them after school. Sometimes, as I was carrying heavy equipments... i tend to wish for that too, especially when they came down to fetch their wife or girlfriends even though they do not have class there too. I knew that it was very far for him to come n bring me home or to even eat dinner with me. n it would be ridiculous to do so and unreasonable too. But sometimes, just feel like it. Especially, since he was free during this period of time, reservist and they end super early. resting at home. It was just the sincerity. Yet, if i tell him that I felt that i would be very unreasonable... I just wished that he would do so... since he had never once done it... for these coming two years' time in school...

Haiz... I could talk to no one, so here I was talking to myself...
If I had told him, it just made him sian. There was once he asked if he had made enough effort, I can't say no. Because what is the meaning of enough effort?

#confusion.

Perhaps I really don't understand him ba... Jus feeling very upset..And delete all the messages. My mum's checkup, she also did not ask the size of it. Sian.... Having a bad headache..Lots of work to do, nothing seems to be smooth at all. I began to hate everything now.

it is weird that i keep missing teddy... even though, i can understand that he needs to study for test and concentrate. I just hope that i can see him and hug him for a while... before i leave to do my own things too...:(

If planning for marriage is a simple two person thing...

Today, it was a quite sian day..ever since there is no part time job for me to do on weekend... I have been slacking throughout... And teddy, I make him say proposal things. So all along, he had plans for proposal...because he didn't want to say so I thought he had none and wanted to wait until I graduated. Which I think is a bit too long..I will still wait no matter what. So he said he had already chose the ring and made plans for the proposal next year on my birthday. But I dun wan for my birthday ba.... Hahaha. I m so troublesome

hahaha! I was so busy the previous weeks. With lots of work pending and a 'special' kid to look after, it was just tiring to the beat. Teddy fell sick recently, and I could not look for him. Working late these few weeks, just to earn money... as my part time job was over and I was no longer working during the weekend. Miss my Teddy bear, but he told me that I need to be independent... hahaha! Alright, I had to be independent (roll eyes). Lucky, he do not know about this blog... if not I may get nag again (hee hee). Recently, Teddy kept asking me for BTO. Silly teddy! Where is my ring first? Need to save up for the house and money. He kept asking me to save and save. (roll eyes). My sweet little teddy, until now, though we had arguments, he was very understanding, sometimes sian because my tantrums... he was still very accepting and we tried our best to accommodate each other. He was always trying to help me and fulfill my cravings (even though he is a small eater)... and getting bigger and bigger... yet, he got more hug-gable.

In a relationship, there may be disagreement at times. However, it was very pleasant as we got to know each other and really understand each other.

Recently, one of my online friend texted me to ask me to find a girlfriend for him. But too bad, I don't had friends who wanted to date. Talked for a short while, before he gave up after me constantly asking him to date. Another thing, read an online blog from a online friend that I knew previously... Really feel happy for him that he is dating now!! congratulations to him. Finally, he holds the girl's hand... wheeeewheee. Really very sweet as he talks about his dating process in the blog. And if he was talking about the things that i previously told him on the blog. Jia You le!!!

Happy CNY everyone! It was a nice gathering at my aunt house and we, cousins are busy talking non stop.

but come to say, I still have three assignment pending after new year.

tmr is my trip to melaka with jera! Hahaha, finally my long awaiting trip and I have so many work on my hand that I have to complete before the trip itself. Haix. Forget about it, just go for the trip. Anyway, work is never ending and I wanted to finish my work.

We went to my JC friend's wedding. It was sweet and nice, but I see that they were very very busy. Wedding is so troublesome. Yet, on the other hand, I am thinking about when it will be my turn. Soon? Or have to wait for a long while? My dream proposal most likely will be just surrounded by his and my family members and getting their acknowledgement. Ultimately, marriage is not able the sparks or the enthusiasm to say yes at that moment. All I wanted is the blessing from both our family members. He can be also be more romantic and choose nice place... but seriously, dun need to make it so troublesome. When is my turn? hahaha! I am not so desperate. I am only thinking about it.

lets get back to work.

I jus received my timetable for school..another three more semester to go. Will be overseas next week, and I have to miss a rather important lesson. So no choice, I seek for one of my uni friend help to attend the lecture that I missed. Miracle happened, she is willing to help, even though she has no lesson. Very glad and thanks her for that...  Unlike my teddy, which I dun blame him for it. As he has a exam the following day.  But love my friend so much. She has been a very nice friend, who always help and give things and cheer people up whenever they need.  Really treasure her a lot. And hope she find someone that loved her dearly too.

So many semester to go, and to complete my bond. Requires a long time. Still got 3.5 years more. And I can't wait. I really hope that I can maintain my GPA and not keep dropping. And I also get my final gift upon graduation. Wish!!!

Recently, read a friend's blog. Maybe there is lots of misunderstanding... But all along, I still treat you as a friend. We can't go out, but I believe if u got anything u want to share or talk about it... U can still msg me. I can still be ur online friend, sk piggy. Hope u can find ur her /u really like  and click one day!!! :)

School is going to start soon. Recently, we went to mbs Prudential carnival. Teddy was a bit pissed, as I got him to reply and he rejected the seller. But I end up agreeing to sell, so we waited for half an hour before getting to the carnival. At the carnival, there was actually nothing much and teddy tried the hooks. But we can't get anything. So we went to try the odd number game.  Only got a mini teddy bear. Which spent about 16 dollars for it. So upset, and teddy kept saying never mind ba. But it is still so ex. Valentine day is coming... What should I get. It is coming to about ten mths and we know each other for more than a year. It was funny and strange on how we met the first time, the first time we hold our hands too... Hope we will continue to grow together, despite all the differences we have. :)

Recently, there was a lot of changes in the part time work. I think I will not be working there soon already. There are so much to do and changes. I think they are getting rid of the people soon, as well as the customers, with expensive prices. And lots of complains too. So I think I am stopping my work soon...

In 2017, 31 December. Went to teddy house to do some work, while he was studying for some test for his work. Next, we went to MBS. But it was crowded, filled with lots of people. So did not manage to go to the carnival at all. We shall go next time though. Both of us had tummy ache and he had an aching legs. It was funny. So we did not get to countdown together, but we went home to rest instead. 

Today is the first day of 2018. I slept the whole day long, until 11.30 am. Teddy called me, thinking that i have fainted at home.. as I was not feeling well on the previous day. But I had felt better. The day start by allowing me to watch tv for the whole day. It has been so nice. So long never watch tv for the whole day. Enjoyed it lots. Dinner time, mum cooked and had a good dinner. Went to do my remaining work and clear some documents. Then Teddy told me that he just told his family about my medical condition. Which I had never thought he would talk about it. I thought his family cannot accept it. So I cried. But he said his family can accept it, as I have already recovered. I sincerely hope his family can accept it, as it is not a easy task or not all people can accept it all. It has been already coming to 6 years. I still could not get over it. It will be a long time incident for me. Lets see in the long run if the family can take it ba. 

Hope it will be a good year ahead 2018. Fighting, Xiang Jun!!! Have to take it easy and relax. 

Love, 

Xiang Jun