After pondering for quite some time...decided to apply for the scholarship... at least, give it a try. may or may not get it... but at least, I tried. need to pass the interviews too. anyway, this is the last time and there is no other chance because of some criteria. On the other hand, I really hope i can get... but what if i really get it... sometimes, I really think that I think too much.

Met a long time no-see online friend... one of the online people that quite chatty with... but it was a long time since we chatted. and it was a sudden " happy birthday" that results in the meet-up. When we meet, jus like good friends who can chat about anything. He asked me, " what kind of guy attracts me?" He just asked as a friend and I dun think that there is any mutual attraction. At least, not for me. There is a time where I really think that I am a les. But after that, I realise that I am not. Frankly speaking... I am not sure what I am looking for too either. My cousin asked me this question recently...like what kind of guy I am looking for?

I am just looking for someone who can click easily, can be themselves. Dun need to pretend. Perhaps, this will start off as friends. Or maybe, I have someone in my heart... but did not realise it. Questions questions...??? Only have 3 crushes before... is it too much? 1 is in secondary school... but I did not have the crush until I saw him coincidentally at the mrt station... after a lot of years after we grad from sec school. That probably was the last crush. The first crush was my chem teacher in jc. He was the nerdy kind that I like and of course, I wanted to be the chem rep. But that was just a crush and in the end, my chem results was crush too and turns out not to be so good. 2nd crush was my colleague and he is nice and plus kind. I know he is kind because of the numerous volunteer works and of his job. He is also smart... but ultimately, he is of different religion and I am also not interested in dating... no courage to confess too.

After talking to my cousin and his persuasion, I fill up the online form for some dating thing. But when they called me, I realised that I am actually not at all ready... I am not sure to be a relationship needs to be ready or not. But since a lot of people have been asking and saying that... I understand it needs a lot of commitment and that;s for sure. I think to be in a relationship, need to be at the right moment and though the person is not a 100 % that you wan...which will never be that case... but I think it needs to be just at the right time, I know that perhaps this is the best age to go in dating or even marriage. But finding the right person and not regretting it is more important than being afraid of loneliness and finding the person. Anyway, lets nature takes it's course. when it supposed to come, it will come.

Let me settle my work and assignment. Hong Kong, here I come soon!!!