this few days, I had various mixed feelings and do not feel like doing anything at all. I felt very unhappy, just dont know why. perhaps i knew what was it but just that i was unwilling to face it at all. perhaps, is this path really for me? I really do not know at this point in time. Just felt very useless after all. everyone in this world is troubled by some things. some people when they are borned, they are covered by lies and lies. All the memories are all faked and non of it are true. some people on the other hand are buried with money. borned with a sliver spoon, which everyone wishes, do not need to worry about studies, jobs, and whether they have money to pay bills at all. it all seems so smooth for them. some they are not worried and some felt that they does not get any love from their parents.

but being human, some times there are only one and only goal and not all of us can get what we wanted in life. I have a friend who is just contented with her job now and she really knows what seh wanted. at least she felt happy and contented. everyone differ from each other and statistics shown that human being until the age of 30, they still do not know what they really wanted in life and they are busy switching jobs but in the end, they still get back to the same thing again. because they cannot stand the reality and cruelty of this world. without pay and money, just to pursue your only dream, it is simply impossible to some.

family meant a lot of things to some. they meant support in terms of emotional and financially. not comparing with other people who are lived in blessful environment. some of the people are borned to be handicapped and some losing some of its function of their body. to them, there are many things that affects their time, more effort put in than the rest. their family financial burden in the future. their emotional support that they got from their family. the courage that they lived in. the happiness that they had in life. remaining happy is one thing, some how, people are always not contented in the way they are. and what about me... still pondering.

BUT I AM VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERYVERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VEYR VEYR VEYR VERY VERY VEYR VEYR VYE RY YER R8Y IFJDLFKSDFKA;SLDFORUQPOKD;LCMX,.V SL;AJSFOUETOIpod; unhappy