universal-blues

2012-02-19T23:36:00.005+08:00

I must write something, it not i will be pondering over it all day.

Something i must confess:

Coming to this 3 years course (OT), I really did not know what will i expect. Carrying the idea of wanting to work in MINDS, is all the idea i had. Initially, i did not even know what i will do after my A-level. Applying everything that is in front of me, is what i have in mind. Tears flow down the cheeks, happiness upon receiving calls from schools are like images that seem to happen just yesterday. I always did not know what i wanted to do... seriously, until now, i cannot give you a definite answer of what i wanted.

However, what i knew was that i always said that i regretted taking up this course...since i have the opportunity to take up the degree. But did i regret...Looking back at all the pictures...though i have ups and down and seriously, my grades are the worst throughout my life. but i really treasure the times that i have been in this school...my friends, their encouragement, the strangers and the 'good-bye' friends that i have met in schools and lots of attachment were somehow that i deeply treasure. Sometimes my friends' words speak the truth, but somehow it is a growing process for me. At times, i really wanted to give up...but seeing their effort to stay alive in this course and i really do not wanted to give up, just pushes me along. I really really miss the times with my group mates regardless if it is fyp, or other minor projects that had been bothering us from semester to semester. But i really treasure the memories...and the only regret were that we had not taken a lot of pictures. and lastly, i wanted to seriously thanks all my clinical supervisors that i had met...they give me a deep impression, they make me felt really glad to be under them and gave me a 'wow' impression about them. Their attitude towards things, their impressions about always wanting to have the best for the patients and not considering whether they have to meet their target quotes, really made me felt that one day, i really wanted to be like them.

Lastly to my dear friends, clinical are going to end soon in a few more weeks...I really treasure the times with you. The suaning, the happiness, dark clouds on my face and above my head, the smiles on your face, the puppy eyes that i always see...the laughters that i always heard...are seriously memories that i had...I had never been so happy in my school life before and i wanting to say 'THANK YOU FOR ALL THE MEMORIES'.

I wanted to go on a trip with you all...and i realised all the grammar errors in this article. but some times some day then i would make an effort to change...=)

2012-02-18T18:26:00.000+08:00

everyone is changing rapidly...improving. No one is constantly at the same spot.

2012-02-18T16:41:00.004+08:00

happy belated valentine to everyone!! Though it is a little bit late...

If you like fortune cookies, you might like these tips:

Random saying:

1. When you are in the lift, hold your breath and make a wish until you reach the ground floor (the lift that you have to take at the top should be above 30 floors). It will come true...

2. If you are really really wanting to see someone, or desperate to know who he or she is... try this. Count 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 (With a door in front of you or closing your eyes). Someone who you truly loved, will appear in front of you. If there is no one, it means it's still not your turn yet.

3. Hold a coin and tell a lie. No one will discover that you are actually lying.

4. write your wish on the balloon (that will fly up to the sky), it will really come true.

5. spot 100 air planes and grab the images of the air plane with your hands. at the end of 100 planes, make a wish

6. fold 1000 cranes, your wish will come true

7. spot the big dipper star and make a wish

Just for fun=)

2012-01-24T23:38:00.004+08:00

seeing everyone in pairs, just make me feel a bit envious. but...since i am the youngest, there is not much questions being asked. new year is over, just miss my long never seen cousins and aunts. Though we did not talk much, it was simply nice to be with them...especially my mother's side.

I love blue roses, becos it represents the moon and the stars...i think i am emoing again. but oh well...

when can i find my prince? always in drama shows, i supposed.

2012-01-18T01:08:00.002+08:00

I think i had really miss this place. Though this is only the 2nd day and the stress had not really arrived, i sort of expected that i will be running a lot of groups in this centre. However, being surrounded by endless talkative clients and smiling clients that would greet me every morning and even when they are going home...simply make me feel that i am welcomed and really happy every morning. This is so different as compared to other places where i am attached to, I get to eat with them and talk to them during lunch. Although it was a bit sad that i am not with my friends, being alone in my work place, where there won't be anyone to eat lunch with me... but strangely, i did not feel weird being at that place. And this is the first time, i ever look forward to running groups.

But it is a bit scary as i will be facing my lecturer while doing groups. But I will just feel very happy to run groups with the clients. The clients are very playful while some are very quiet. But all of them have a common similarity, which is their smiles. I really wonder is it because of the 6 years of experience in my previous supervisor, that she became a social butterfly in her current working place. But it is hard not to be in this place. I feel that i am super talkative in this place, not that i talk rubbish, but it is just that they are a batch of clients who won't judge you for who you are... so it is very happy to be just there. Not because of the environment but because of the clients there.

2012-01-14T23:28:00.003+08:00

seeing that I have not been blogging for quite some time...i decided to blog again

i really really can't imagine that today is sat, can someone just tell me that this is fake. This is my last clinical, and soon i got to start work...in some ulu places which i don't even know where is it. Looking at some of my secondary and jc friends photos, just remind me of how long and how fast we have already grown. Everyone or at least some have gone overseas, been through the course that they wanted to attend. and have a goal in their life...or at least just finding someone that they love and got married. it is a bit early, but seeing that they found their love one, just got so envious. that why i am always persuading my friends to get married soon...it seems a bit scary, but just hope that i can be a bridesmaid soon.

let things go slowly, I DON'T BELIEVE THAT I CAN'T DO IT. I WILL ONLY BELIEVE THAT I WILL ALWAYS REACH MY GOAL, IF I WORK HARD.=)

I got to keep my hair long again, strangely...i keep cutting it and the mr hair cutter said," how come your hair keep getting shorter and shorter". I should just reply that i wanted to see him more often. I got to keep my hair longer and longer, i shall stop looking and wanting to see the super handsome mr cutter for one year. Must keep my hair long- at least for one year.

2011-12-18T09:26:00.000+08:00

just smile and there is nothing you can't overcome.

I like u, zhang dong liang=)

2011-11-29T16:55:00.002+08:00

i am envious that my friend managed to find a course which he can excel in. Is it very difficult to find something that you are best in?

A wrong step can cause a long-term regret. But standing at the other point of view, it can help you to learn something

so contradicting...

2011-11-23T00:13:00.003+08:00

today is simply a packing day, i got to be more decisive when it comes to watching movies.

the 'apple' show was nice, but there is fighting scene that i seriously dun quite like. and i almost fell asleep half way cos i was so tired and sitting at the 2nd row, just make me feel like sleeping. but the song is nice and i wanted to listen to the song, yet i was like rushing for tuition. so i couldn't stay longer. and the sad thing that the guy in the end, wasn't with the girl. that sad...should have a better happy ending anyway.

my tuition kid keep pestering me that she wanted a particular sticker. haix, but she is cute so i forgive. she is so like me when i was young. so cute, so talkative... and simply like to exchange stickers.

2011-11-19T22:39:00.003+08:00

i hope that i can go to the place where the picture belongs with my friends and family.

i cut my hair le, and it now become shorter. kind of miss my long hair, yet i won't regret...after thinking for a month, finally decided to cut. Because it always got stuck at the window of the train when i fell asleep. NOW, it wouldn't=)

it is a new start, and shall look forward to a new happy start! forget about every unhappiness, and start a fresh

2011-11-17T13:39:00.001+08:00

I finally understand why. Neglect...

2011-11-13T22:08:00.002+08:00

I seriously seriously can't believe that i am 21 years old. SO OLD... haiz

yesterday, i dream about my runaway present which was the bicycle. I was like waiting and waiting, woken up thinking that the bicycle will be folded and placed in front of me. But apparently i am wrong. Life is really like a DREAM.

I am watching the music award presentation. So nice... i forgot what i was about to say. Yup. treasure the people beside you=)

2011-10-29T10:51:00.003+08:00

Life is very short and it all comes down to ashes. There is an ending to everything.

But at least, she led a strong life and despite all obstacles, she managed to overcome it. Just that ages as time goes by. I believed that you will receive more happiness and less suffering in the next life.

Strangely, i did not cry when i hear the news though i badly wanted to. I felt that i am a cold-blooded person as i promised never shed a tear when death news is being heard.

When i heard the good news yesterday, that you are doing fine. I was really happy. I am sorry that i did not see you for the last time. But i never regret in my decision, because i know you want me to help others. But just that, why did not you wait for my birthday to be over and we can celebrate together. 10 more days... Perhaps, it was a kind of blood ties relationship feelings that i keep wanting to accompany you this few weeks. Going to your house and just sitting beside you, allowed me to just feel very peaceful and enjoyable. You are really cute and one of my best grandma that I had.

I am proud to be your grand-daughter and you will be my forever grandmother. And i know you will be forever beside me spiritually and protecting me, just like what granddad did.

I love you.

2011-10-26T10:45:00.002+08:00

haha! finally, there is a day...which is a public holiday. A day which i can constantly stick to my computer and watch lots of tv shows. Recently, i just wanted to finish watching 画皮. and i am at the last episode. haha! But after watching this show, i realised that i have a lot of work to do.

Work list:

*Action plan and CV plan

*Literature review for FYP

*Literature review for cognitive dysfunction (executive functions)

all this work requires TIME, TIME and TIME.

Haiz, there goes my holiday again. Haha! but tomorrow i can go to my grandma house and play again, since i have no school.However, i have to go for my project around evening, gee!!

perhaps i should not work as OT, but just work in the mediacorp and stare at the different tv screen all day long, assisting in the switching and editing of the tv shows. I think i will get a lot of satisfaction doing that since i like to watch shows so much.

Anyway, i want to go shopping=)

2011-10-23T18:51:00.003+08:00

i am feeling super super depressed now. Lots of things incomplete...and can you believe that i still spend my time writing blog. IT is a TOTAL WASTE OF TIME, like what i will say. Stress and depression just overwhelmed me. haix.

tonight it will be a long long night for me again and i ought to do finish my OTTp preparation for tomorrow group meeting. It is JUST simply a horror. This few days, my friends are all applying for university in overseas either UK or AUST and i am also deciding whether should i apply or just save up the application fees. If...i don't apply this time round, then when my friends all go for the same school next year. I will not have any friends to go with me next time round or it will be harder to get in since there are more and more singaporean joining this unpopular course in the future. then it will be harder to get my degree since sg don't even often this degree course. Haix what should i do. so confusing. my dad asked me to go, my mum worried about me going and prefer me staying in singapore. this is just so SIAN.

anyway, just going to grad soon and i seriously needed to plan. My friends asked me, my supervisors asking me, my relatives asking me...and i have simply have no ideas. QUOTing frome my friend that if you have a dream, you will most likely succeed. If you have none, your life is simply just meaningless. FOR me, what do i really want to do???

how come human being own such a brain which can processed information and tends to worry themselves out? stress? happiness? complex processing? insights? all this things are just a chore to me. But when i asked my friends what their dreams are, they are able to narrate to me. That moment in time, i simply admire them because at least they know what they wanted in life...just that it might change everytime when i asked them... but at least they are able to tell me, RIGHT!!

but now at least, i need to focus on my work which i need to hand in next week and i simply have a test that i need to go through almost every single week. THAT is... but that my course wanted us to go through and i know that it will be a good practice, though i simply just don't want to admit it.

by the way, the real steal show is nice. just that i don't really like the fighting part. image they are robots with feeling and they got smash till their head is gone. i don't want to imagine that. but at least i feel that it teaches me that "no matter how strong your component is, how difficult the thing might seen to you, as long as you perserve and stand after every fall, there will be a time when you will succeed in the end. even if it doesn't, at least you gain the best victory and satisfaction

haha!! my birthday is coming. just to hint hint my friends!! i want a bag (must be big, just the usual size that i carry around, regardless if it is handbag, slingbag or backpack), long necklance, watch (working kind), shoes (no sneakers, unless you can find sliver sneakers with glitters).

JUST TO say, my present must have NO CARTOON CHARACTERS. no childish pictures. and NO MONEY. i don't want money cos i wan to KEEP MY PRESENTS!!

I need to get get back to my work now, before that i need to go home first.=)

quoting from someone: "perservance is scarier than cleverness"

JIA YOU, XJ!! you will be persistent in what you think.

2011-10-10T23:41:00.002+08:00

actually, I have no idea what to write today. But i can't stop being happy today. Though it was a rather busy day, I just feel happy and contented. It was a super busy day today and a raining day. Had to wake up super early and go all the way to serangoon when the shops have not even open yet. But nevertheless, i ate the omelette and eat mac ice cream which makes me happy. It is quite strange. Perhaps, it is because i have enough sleep last night and my parent is on leave for these few days.

However, i have to complete the transcript for 3 people. I have just completed one and have two more left. How positive I sounded. Anyway, it is still holiday and i am glad=)

p.s: it is a sunny day

2011-10-05T21:57:00.005+08:00

Just smilez...there is nothing that you can't overcome=)

This few days felt totally frustrated to the max. Though i have 3 weeks of holidays, i felt that it is simply more stressful as compared to the days in clinical. I simply have no idea why. The moments of quiet nights when i am alone in my room, being able to read my favorite series of mystery storybooks...simply cannot make my heart and brain relaxed. I really wonder what was bothering me. My parents told me that my sleep talking habits occurred almost every night ever since my holiday started. Haix. What is happened to me???

Hope that tmr cycling can help me in clearing my thoughts and what is bothering me. and my pimples are popping out and out.

should i buy the stargazing machine? This is simply too confusing.

p.s. today is a cloudy day. But Thanks SQ for going shopping with me=)

2011-10-05T08:39:00.002+08:00

putting their heartfelt words in their heart as a self mechanism protection.

Am i doing the same thing too?

2011-09-27T21:56:00.004+08:00

yo hoo! finally finally holidays. i am so so happy.=) smiles guys...

sat (24/9)

* finish my clinicals. but i will own 3 days of clinical for next placement

* met my friend, to finish up the presents.

* rot at home

sun(25/9)

* rot at my grandma house for the whole day

* finish watching the final episode of the mio tv

mon(26/9)

* went to tiong bahure to buy presents

* went to grandma house

* went to library

* meet my friend for presents

* went for medical checkup

* read storybooks at home

tues(27/9)

* went to swim in school

* went for lunch with fyp mates

* went for fyp

* went for tuition

* Now, doing fyp stuffs

wed(28/9)

* going to grandma house

* going for dinner

* going to watch smurfs with xiaohui

thurs(29/9)

* went for fyp

* stayed at home to watch show

fri(30/9)

* went to kkh to collect forms

* went to JP lib to read books

* went to JP to meet friends

* went home and watch tv

sat(01/10)

*Happy children's day

*went to angela's house to do fyp

*went to marine bay to fly kite with family

sun(02/10)

*grandma's house

This is my schedule for this week=)

2011-09-26T18:44:00.001+08:00

It is finally Holiday=)

happily rotting at home though

2011-09-04T19:04:00.002+08:00

finally my crd presentation with the department is over, hurray. But my life is not going to be easy after that... hahaha! the presentation was not very good, after thinking for awhile and there are many changes to be made. I will need to change and learn from other people. They really did a good job and simply well done=) just immersed in the presentation. So cool. But at least i finish my presentation...

On friday was a super lousy day for me. Hoping that it will be a nice day, since it was my presentation day. I got ready my thumbdrive and making sure that i brought all my notes. But practically, haha! when i got to the ground floor, i realised that i did not bring my badge. so i went back to take. However when i reach the bus-stop and thinking that " thank goodness, i was not late". When i was about to board the bus, i realized that i did not take my ez-link card. haix, what a nice one, then i rush back to take. When i came to the ground-floor, i was thinking whether i should take a cab or mrt or wait for the bus. The cab is taking too slow and just now when i was waiting for the bus, there was not at all a cab. so i ran all the way to the mrt station so that i wasn't late. Then when i reached the mrt station, i board the train and rush up the tall tall mountain to get to the hospital. It was a simply bad experience for me cos i had been always running up there for my dental appointments. I was simply breathless...

okay! that was my experience for the day. Sun is going to be over in about a few hours time. Oh ya, i almost forgot. The main aim for this blog is that i was really very happy that i was in the ortho team though it was quite stressful, cos i really dun know how i can improve myself. though i am really trying. But the team is really nice people, though there are still many questions that they will ask me for my treatment and so. but THEY ARE REALLY NICE. haha! and i think i am quite happy there but stressed, so there are times where i really wish i could take a break.

anyway, that's all. and fri was a 'nuan day', i did some reading for fyp and simply i was so tired that i fell asleep while smsing. and on sat, i went to see doctor and get appointment. After which, i went to my fyp, it is simply nice to see friends every week though it was for project. haha! at last, i get to cycle. However, because of the friction with the wheels, my bag had a hole in it. lastly because of my laptop's weight, i crush onto a big rock and hurt my feet. and it has a big patch on it. Nice one!!

Hope next week, will be a nice week=)

2011-08-30T02:01:00.004+08:00

It has been a very long time since i was here to blog, around 20 days i suppose. Most of my friends who are blogger are also lazy to blog, in which i wasn't able to see their updates.

I was really wondering why i am up here blogging when i was suppose to complete my crd though. I finished it and hopefully when my sup vet again, it won't be full of errors again. I really hope that that what she wanted though, this is the first crd that i had to edit so many times and in which i really think that it is the most detailed crd i had even done. I did not know that a model could even be used in this way though.

last 2 weeks was a really really depressing week for me. I was like bombed with a lot of comments in which i really hope to improve, but just i had this barrier and fear that just stopped me from improving. My sup is really a great sup, she often tell me the areas that i need to improve and give me constructive feedbacks and now it only lies in whether i will be able to improve my own abilities. If i can really try to push myself and remove all the fears, i will be super contented. After all, i would really want to push myself and do not let my sup down too.

Give yourself confidence.=) and jia you. Today, is so depressing, my initial ax goes bong again and treatment plans, my brain cells are apparently dead by week 5. and all i want is to take a long break and it is so nice that this friday, i will have my crd presentation. Congratulations to me.

*just saw two friends of mine dating and wanting to get married le on facebook. haix...

2011-08-07T22:02:00.002+08:00

sat had fyp in the morning, after which i carried lots of books home from the lib. Apparently, i haven't started reading yet. But just flipping through the books, seems fun especially the Amputee book. Anyway, i went to buy present and i bought the wrong one again. Forgot to ask her whether she had the gift already or not, and i just bought it. After that k books for a while and went to east coast to cycle.

Apparently, because i wanted to save money so i dragged my friend from one end of east coast to another end to get a cheaper bicycle per hour. I am not a good teacher so i just accompany my friend while she learnt how to cycle. It is super funny to look at the process of how people learn to cycle. I think i must have been laughed at when i was learning to cycle too. But at least she finally learn it though she keep saying that she did not manage to reach her target. BUT AT LEAST, YOU DID IT... with wounds on leg though=)

but appreciated for accompany me to cycle at ecp, though knowing that you dun know how to cycle in the first place. THANK YOU JERALDINE=). haha!!

tomorrow will be week 2 and national day. hope i really have a great week and be able to learn and hopefully to be able to help my patients ba=)

today i just had tuition and i scolded my tuition kid again. because he kept playing with the fan and totally just ignoring and guessing his way through with the problem sum so i scolded him, apparently i think i scared him cos i was super serious. I knew he knew how to do it, but if this continued with that attitude of him...i dun know how his paper is going to be like. So everytime, i will tell his mother that it is really up to him whether he wants concentrate or not. Hopefully, that his mother will do something to help him. And super funny thing is that, because i used stickers to ask him to complete his work and not to play. His grandma started to buy stickers to ask him to do his work. I really hope that he will be able to pass his end of year examination.

2011-08-03T20:40:00.002+08:00

I felt very sorry for my sup, for having such a not good student.

seriously, i dun know how to built rapport, esp not my client.

I dun know what to do if it is other people's client, full of restrictions and limitations

the only thing is that I can do is to try my best. Not to please my sup, not to please myself, but to be responsible for my patients. Go towards this direction, and dun think about studies and grade=)

Xiangjun, no matter how much time this is going to take. or the end, might not be as perfect as you want, or it might ended up to be nothing.

regardless of how many scolding, at least i know i will learn something at least?

2011-07-30T12:15:00.003+08:00

i got to be brave. take one step at one time.

Don't waste your every moment, do something that creates something different to other people or do work that you think you should have done. Don't wait till the last minute to complete things. Finish things as fast as possible. Just think that if you dun tried, you will never know the end results. Even if the end results is not up to your satisfaction or you might have wasted something important in your life, just treat it as an important lesson that you have learnt in your life. Learn to appreciate things. Life is never smooth-sailing, but as long as you never tried, you will never know whether you can make it or not.

There are many people who are worse than u. Time to them are like nothing, because they does not know about the "Time" factor, yet their life can be lived with happiness that no one can ever achieve. You might think that time is precious and you have wasted your life doing nothing. Yet, if you think if another way, if you are so dejected now, why not just BUCK UP now and make a difference in your other years. When you ever even look back, you might think that the years that you spent on something that you once think that is extremely important and the results are not satisfactory to you, might seem small and unimportant now to you.

yesterday, i spent my whole day running about and meeting with friends. I am very satisfied with it. After school --> shop at novena--> lunch at donut factory --> movie at iluma --> give tuition --> vivo city shop --> keppal bay --> watch online show at home --> finally had a good rest at home but with nightmare though

this morning --> woke up at 9am --> watch tv (doraemon and my fav show) --> online play some games --> printed out my notes (play and school notes) --> packed my room --> hang up my poster --> sort out all my notes to be read --> come online and blog. I can start to study and go for my another study marathon tonight. With chapter to read: play and school, clinical things, SMD to read

I can make it!!! 2 months only. just treat it as a precious learning study, even if it mean a failure to me (this is sound pessimistic, but i am being optimistic) but at least, i believe i will learn something from it.

I won't cry this time round. Do something scary everyday, you will learn that it is not that scary after all.

2011-07-06T15:18:00.003+08:00

life screwed. i FLUNKED MY VIVA. that's so great

2011-07-03T21:41:00.003+08:00

I am so sorry to those friends, as i have been feeling very moody recently. So especially my friends, whom i threatened to beat them up..Esp WEIZHEN. i am feeling very sorry for her=) haha! but what are friends for? to be beaten up ma!! "da shi teng, ma shi ai".

and just a new thing: i shall stop typing "huh" if not i will irritate someone=) ahahaha! BUT STILL HATE TO SMS... i SHOULD GET A PHONE WITHOUT SMS FUNCTION=)

There is a lot of things occurring in my mind, this few days, plus stories of my friends are just flooding me. I need to concentrate on my work and start to really study. I think i won't be going to facebook anymore and stop reading my comics for a while and Plus plus the attraction of television should stop for a while. for a month, i suppose...since the exam is really coming. Luckily, i had already given out present for ppl who are having their birthday this month.

Perhaps, once i have already sorted out what i am going to do and my feeling, i have been feeling better. However, it is only today that i sorted out only. But it is really nice talking to your friends, keeping nothing to yourself at all. The feeling is very nice. and i finally resist my temptation of not buying anything.

AND FINALLY WANTED TO THANKS THE person who pick up my ez-link card. strangely, i did not feel anxious at all when i know that i lost my card. This is the 3rd time that i lost my card, and i always find it. really thanks to all the persons that help me to give back to the counter. and i will always help to pick up cards and find the owner=) perhaps that will lead me to my prince...haha! too early to dream already, XJ.

I think i am now feeling calm now (as the mood ring shows). perhaps due to the song too=) Tomorrow will be a better day, think positively=) haha!!

2011-06-30T01:37:00.000+08:00

I finally found his facebook. But i still do not dare to add him.

2011-06-29T00:33:00.000+08:00

i can't do it!!

everyday thinking of it, felt like it will never come to an end, and there won't be an answer to it.

2011-06-23T17:40:00.002+08:00

it just that, it seems that everything is piling up. How i wish, time could really take a break and i could do whatever i wanted. I wan to rot on my bed even if it is just a moment. and i have meeting throughout the days and work all over. Later i am off to meet my friends for her birthday buffet. I am super poor now, yet i am happy when i give someone their gifts. But i always selected the wrong gift so that a bit sad when i did not see their smile on their faces...

anyway, i need to focus on my studies and catch up with the results and make sure that i can manage my projects and start on my studies...

pls provide me with the strength. I kept thinking about him, i hope that nightmare will stop soon...

2011-06-14T02:24:00.003+08:00

In less than 6 hours, i will be on the bus to KL. My dad scared me with the thumbprint thing that was recently implemented in malaysia checkpoint (which he read online). He said that some people ended up jamming at malaysia and have to go back to singapore, because the machines at the custom are unable to detect their thumbprint. and it often happens to me in singapore, as i had sweaty palms and it's that kind which was quite severe. so it was very hard to detect my thumbprint plus i had sensitive skin, which cause my skin to peal off whenever i got blister due to soap powder. so my lines on my hands are deep and complicated and plus the volar side will turn wrinkled very easily.

I hope that i will be able to pass-by the custom. I really look forward to the trip, though it was not the first time going with my friends to KL. Packing up all the feelings and bringing to KL, hoping to leave everything there and coming back with a better heart, a kinder heart, a braver heart, a courageous heart and a new peaceful heart. Treasuring everyone beside you, no matter how hard or how bad you felt that day, because one day you will know that you will miss them when they are gone...

no matter what they say or do, that make you mad, sometimes making you confused with what was going in their mind, but somehow just follow your instinct and believe in your friends and one day, you might make a difference in their life by providing the trust and concern that they once lost... believe that everyone is kind and they are forever there for you, though sometimes i really wanted to bang their head against the wall. ( for those thinking that i might be talking about u, just relax...i will tell u if i think that line of words should not exist. I dun like to hide things, if i really hide, trust me it is becos of some bad experience that i have in the first place).

Hope X manage to find her job, and get back her money

2011-06-09T23:23:00.002+08:00

one of my mid term exam finally ended, I am really very happy that it ended. And the happiest thing is that i will be going on a short trip (3 days 2 nights) to Kuala Lumpur. However, my days at KL, might be flooded with presentation slides and literature papers. I really seriously wondered if i got to bring my Laptop along to KL to do my projects after we spent the whole day shopping.

During the meantime, to the countdown on the days to KL....I am flooded with lots of projects, research and presentation to do. And I got to finish it before I go to KL too, so that my other friends can collate or checked. It just too much work, Moreover I have 2 more projects than my other classmates due to the extra module that i have to do this semester. and one of the projects, only 2 person in a group, and we have to do all. I think that's a lot of work to do. and i am extremely afraid of my play n school team, because i just felt that the combination is weird as it consists really of different extremes of a person's characteristics (dun know whether u will get what i meant though).

and i think i am not going to sleep on monday morning, and i will sleep when i am on the bus, but i will buy food. I am very excited about the trip because i finally can get out of singapore and though it was the 2nd time that i am going to KL. I am really very very happy. Because i am freee of sms free from calls. I am free=)

Just like being in an alien and suck up into the spaceship=)

2011-06-01T03:39:00.004+08:00

haha! i finally managed to catch the final episode of Survivor last week. I always fell asleep while waiting for it to start, but finally i managed to watch it. That was one happy incident for me=)

Last last last friday, i went on a steamboat buffet with my friends and apparently, we ended up eating MUSHROOMS...all thanks to Jera who likes to eat mushrooms. I felt that the more you eat at the same shop, the more boring it would get. I ate at the same shop for about 5 times, so it was rather sian and tiring as the food was always the same. Got to try something else instead.

Last week, went with MZ to the seoul garden buffet. I simply loved the ice cream, though we only managed to order once because we did not know that it was the last order. What a pity!! But anyway, Mz thought that it was not that worthwhile. I felt that it was still worth the price because there are still ready cooked food for you and lots of variety of ice cream served to the customer. And most importantly, i manage to crack the cockles' shell and get it out. Failed all the time, so i was very happy and excited in getting it out. Except that i seriously come to a conclusion that, cockles rather get burnt (till it turned black) than to let you eat.

This week, most likely or should i say i am still considering whether to eat buffet for her 21st birthday. I am poor to the max. but I should still go, right?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I got to lead a healthy lifestyle and finished my work on time. No more acting like a snail, i got to be faster in terms of my working speed. and i am back to wearing my retainers, got to promise myself that. My aunt's voice just rings in my head...can't stop it!!!

I think i must be paranoid to think that i sneeze whenever i see someone. I am sensitive to a certain perfume, can't stop sneezing.

GUEST BLOGGERRRR :)

2011-05-18T09:00:00.000+08:00

Hello a guest blogger here! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE............

NGXIANGJUN IS A CRAZY GIRLLLLL :) hehes

She sleeps whole day, she is a girl, she is lame, she is currently sitting beside me.
She's drinking chrysanthemum teaa, she says she wants to save money, WELL... HAHA
She is going out on this saturday. she loves yellow, she wants to buy nail polish but she is undecisive. She likes to trek but does not like exercise! She is wearing all white now except a little pink LOL she wears purple spects and she is smiling to herself (as if..more of rolling eyes! HAHA) she is wearing white slippers too! how white she is today -.-

Wz is laughing to herself when looking at the screen, she bought milk tea except of milo today cos she drank it this morning! she's wearing pink shirt and white pants. She has thick and black hair. She wears contact lens (except specs, okay if she wears spects, the sun would set east!) She ate hotcakes this morning (hotcakes only okay, no set).

Guo is typing on her laptop and looking so serious. She's wearing yellow and she looks like camel HAHA. she says she wants to buy a pair of shorts. She wears a pair of red specs. She wears white shoes (arghh, white again) She ate ban mian today and she has a phone who is covered with red irritating cover HAHA.

Bai has gone for another lesson, she wears white shirt today as well, she says she doesnt shop at gmarket that often, but she shops at other blogshops. She has a flowery clip on her hair and wz says a fly flies onto the clip. She has hotcakes with sausauge and she was tempted by the ice cream this afternoon but she is unlike xiang who really ate it! (xiang commented bai stared at her) HAHA

Rai is wearing the birthday shirt we gave her today and she is wondering what are we doing because she kept looking over! She says she likes the presents we bought her. She is stoning and she decides to put the thumbdrive in her bag and then she comes over, thought she's coming over to find us but she go see her phone! okay she walks past and sitting down now.

Char is sleeping from dont-know-what-time to now LOL okay she havent wake up yet. She wears the same shirt with rai! she is really sleeping soundly and i doubt she knows we are typing about her! HAHAHA

ANYWAY TO BE CONTINUED! shall just say they love me! :)

2011-05-17T23:33:00.002+08:00

i just stumbled into the website and found this pic. IT is so...it just exactly what i am doing now, haha!! I must CHANGE and do what i expects. I shall stay in school and mug...but can u imagine what i am doing now? It is exactly the opposite.

xIANG Jun pls have some motivation!! pLS. But at least i finish my work for tomorrow, my presentation slides and my research. But that what i think. Addicted to korean songs (half due to Lene) and songs again=). But at least i controlled my comics and drama addiction. That is a good start after all. Time to exercise, should i go swimming tomorrow...?

2011-05-17T10:26:00.003+08:00

There are so many things to do:

Time to work hard, promise myself that i won't watch television.

and I got to do some exercise as well as focusing on my studies...

Yet, i did not do so. Instead, i got myself addicted to television, comics books, story books. Where did all my textbooks go, and my timetable go? I am so tired, I need some sleep too.

I GOT TO FOCUS ON MY WORK, all my presentation are coming and what are u doing with your life. xIANG jUN

2011-05-05T09:00:00.003+08:00

wishing upon the stars, by the bright sun and the shining brinking stars.

2011-05-05T09:00:00.002+08:00

happiness always seems so short-lived. This is the first time, i really feel that i really miss my patients. Although some of them scolded me, which traumatises me especially the first few weeks of clinicals. But i really wanted them to faster recover and leave the hospital. I am excited and happy that they have improvement and manage to finish completing the tasks. Though their way of doing is a bit of compensatory methods. I felt that i am not a good Occupational therapist student but i am really going to try my best for this year. Hoping to manage to graduate in time with the rest. After 2 years, finally i managed to find what the real reason of wanting to stay in this course. I hope to go to a physical setting to do though it is so unlike me.

ru guo you ren wen wo, wo yao zhuo ge shu mo zi ne zhi liao shi...=)

2011-05-02T20:04:00.004+08:00

by next week, i will have to hand in a report. These few days after my clinical attachment, i had been playing and watching television programes. I was playing and relaxing. On saturday, i had to go to school to attend a lesson but at last it was over. Yet to my horror, it was exactly like mobility lessons. There were no theories at all and I was afraid that history would repeat itself. On wednesday afternoon, i was going for an interview. I had not settled the time yet, cos i had second thoughts about it. A lot of my friends had told me, that it was only a year left. In fact, i counted my days... my course ended in feb but of course, as i had to repeat another half a year so it would most probably end during august. I had been taking in about a lot of comments about changing my course. it was very confusing. I think I know what i wanted and it really lightened my heart after about 2 years of ponding. Most likely, i will continue my course. But i will still go for the interview. but strangely, it was the series of movies that i watched and my aunt's comments that made me really changed my thoughts. I was an indecisive gal and I might changed my mind, which made a lot of people think that it was very common.

Okay, my new year resolution for this year is:

1. decisive

2. chiong for everything

3. be more determined in my work

4. dun let fear strike me out of the game

5. treasure my family and friends more

6. be more cheerful in life

I really like my patients (those who scold me and those who sayang me) and strangely, i really miss them=) Perhaps they make me gone through what i need to experience in the future and I felt that they make me change to a extent.

2011-04-29T23:48:00.002+08:00

I am confused now. Very glad that finally i ended my clinicals. But at the same time, still wondering if i am suitable for this course or not. I just receive an email telling me to go for an interview. though it was not my best choice la, but it is still another option out. just wondering if i am suitable for this course (which i am still in), judging by my grades since year 1 until now. and my clinicals results... seriously, i admitted not putting enough effort into doing my work and therefore, my marks were always like that. but at the same time, i dun know what to do to improve and be more knowledgeable and suitable for my course.

What should i do...

2011-04-23T20:13:00.002+08:00

having a pretty hairstyle,
wearing branded clothes,
carrying branded bags,
wearing branded shoes,
yet the heart is icing cold,
only thought about oneself...

what the meaning of this...
yet there are many people who existed in this world...

2011-03-09T23:29:00.002+08:00

Mon (28/2) : went back to school to borrow books. DId not manage to touch my books and study. haiz... (M, Yl). Meet J to borrow video

tues:walk around henderson wave and hort park. it was fun though (M, A)

wed: stay at home and watch tv=)...almost finished J's drama

thurs: pulau ubin trekking=) got a lot of mosquitos (M, A, Yl, G, C)

friday: my first tuition lesson but the parents cancel it becos their son was sick. and becos they never said it early, i spent the whole day at home doing nth=(

sat: went out to buy present, but in the end get nothing out of it. (YR)

Sun: went for tuition (first lesson-Rq), went to grandma's place

Mon: read comics at Bugis all afternoon. Meet (Y) for a while to give things

tues: stay at home, finally finished J's video

wed: stay at home, Finally started Studying, ate buffet (Mu, Da)

That's all. Hope that next day will be more exciting.

2011-03-09T22:44:00.003+08:00

aarrrrr!! this few days have been super moody, ever since on Sunday night. perhaps knowing that my clinical is coming super near. I am feeling super unhappy. I just hate myself, that super pessimistic character of mine. But sort of...I have simply no choice. I was very sad.

this few days, have been a total nightmare to me. My phone spoil (the super old phone spoiled) and Monday afternoon was total madness. All my old phones gave me trouble and everything all gone wrong. Sunday night to Tuesday night was a total madness to me. My frequent nightmare had been coming back to me. I was experience fear and anger when i was sleeping. I was so tired. I could hear myself screaming in the morning. That night, my mum told me she can't bring on a holiday because she had to go back to work and that goes my holidays. In the end, my mother compensate me by treating me and dad to a buffet. In the end, we ended up choosing beijing buffet...however it tasted totally horrible to a certain extent. They should call it a Dumpling buffet. It's all dumpling and vegetable dumplings. The horror among all the horror.

Strangely, what is happiness? I can't understand that. I felt hard to be happy all the time and people cannot always remain happy forever. I just need a short getaway, i supposed. However, strangely I managed to smile for a day (perhaps only for a few hours)... when

my mum told a not very funny joke. But i could see and hear the laughter coming from my dad and from my mum too. Perhaps it is just small little thing, being able to hear the laughters from my parents and suddenly, i felt a tingling of happiness. And I smiled. Perhaps it is just being able to with your family members and that's all. But it was soon dashed and my parents argued because of a handphone charger. But that's too common, as it won't last for a day.

I still felt moody though, and I need a super long nature walk. But it seems all my nature walk friends are all quite busy. Some need to chiong for their super long reports, while some had to be involved in some projects , while some were being booked by their other friends. Perhaps it is time for me to follow J's footsteps and take a long walk on my own...

what is happiness? can you tell me? I just think and diagnose myself as having pre-stress clinicals. Hearing how many things my friend M had to read, just simply scared me off. Perhaps it was because it seemed that she was busy reading her notes, while I was still clueless as I am not sure what i had to read as I had totally lost my direction.

SAVE ME PLS...

2011-02-27T22:27:00.003+08:00

haha! this few days, I really had a lot of fun.

1. After the exam on thurs, my friend and I surprised my birthday girl by having me appeared in front of her. However, it was not a perfect surprise after all because they came from the wrong way and i did not manage to get the candle to light up...as usual. But after all, we had a surprise for her and had at least a short chat before they have to chiong home to mug for their exams.

2. haha! After which, i managed to learn how to ride a Bicycle. It was so great to be able to ride freely and singly=) to my surprise, i managed to ride the bicycle on my own after about of 15 minutes of learning. Perhaps, this was becos of I had my 4 wheels basics and my 2.5 wheels basics. But haha! paritally thanks to Mz too=) After which I had buffet, i forgot what the name of the japanese restaurant but I just knew that the chicken wings were nice and there was a branch near our school. I had so much food that I almost threw all out. Almost only=)

3. I was involved in my friend's photoshoot for her final project...AS A assitant. It was tiring as I slept when they were shooting the model. Apparently the model was handsome and quite cute, but I was too tired to even look at him and his shots. Haha! But i learnt a lot of how a photoshoot actually look like and how they make-up for the model too. It took a whole full day, of course with some shopping too=) haha!and we had long john silver that night. never eat long john for a LONG LONG TIMe.

4. Went on a one-day cruise with my parents. haha! initally it was fun as the ship began to leave Singapore for the sea. we went around from indonesia to Malaysia and back to Singapore. But we did not alight the cruise ship but just that it stopped in the middle of the sea and those passenger on board the ship can go to the casino or any place to play or relax. Initially, my dad said he could get a room but after which the crew member said that NO!! the reason of why No was too long for me to say. In the end, i played psp in the restaurant for the whole day until my psp said NO batt! and I ended watching shows. But it was a nice and fun experience=)

5. Hope that next week, i have more fun than these. haha! tomorrow, I will need to go back to school to borrow and return books. And the girls are off to Hong kong now. So nice=)

2011-02-25T08:33:00.003+08:00

this few days,I am having exams. It was totally horrible. Not only day time but the night too.

the first few days of examination, I had a strange dream about clinicals:

because of my clinical attachment, I had to go to the bukit Batok interchange. and there i saw my ex-classmates laughing at my uniform. They looked at me with strange eyes and they kept laughing which got me super irritated. It was partially because I was waiting for my friend who was being attached to the same place. But the friend that I was waiting was not the same as the one in reality and it was a guy who I did not know who is him and what is his name? and he was super weird, rude, no respect and a sole ranger. When the bus came, he went up with other friends without calling me. And i panicked, strangely. Moreover, i also realised that i did not check my mail and did not know what my supervisor sent me. In addition, I forgot to bring my nametag. Apparently, i was so immersed in the dream that i continued to think about whether i should just go and see a doctor and declared that i was sick on the first day of my clinical since i was late. Suddenly, my mother woke me up. I breathe a sign of relief, knowing that all was just a dream.

the 2nd day of examination, haha! i had another dream.

this time was about frogs. I was wondering whether this dream occur in my home or my grandma's. Apparently, was just a house that i know. so these frogs were everywhere me, on the ceilings, making markings on the walls, all over the walls. and they ranged from big to small. I was thinking of what to do with them. Although i liked frogs, but my frogs were cartoon frogs and not real frogs. So i was thinking of bringing a snake inside to eat them all up. but who would help me to kill the snake? so i decided not to. and my mum woke me up again. so that's the end.

the last day of examination.

I dreamt that i cut my wrist. not delibrately but just an accident. and all was like a separated hand with only the bones intact. so the tendon, the nerves are separated at the wrist level. apparently, i was silly, trying to keep my wrist in neutral and trying to pushing my hand back, joining my forearm at the wrist joint. It was scary and i thought that i needed surgery and hand therapy.

so apparently, my brains were working in the morning, studying and the night too, dreaming about horrible dreams. Why did i not dream of prince charming instead and horrible shows.

That the end of my horror. But at least, I have 2 weeks of holidays. But it is actually a short break to prepare for my clinical, with all the books required to read up.

but it is still happiness.

2011-02-12T13:43:00.000+08:00

other people are working hard

I must pass all my exam this time.

my mummy say i am a slacker compared to my jc

left with 2 days, must chiong!!!

hands must complete by today, OT in MH today too.

since i have slept for 14 hours

i will not sleep today=)

2011-02-08T21:30:00.004+08:00

Rar...I dun know what to say. I think I did not work hard enough!! and I am going to collect all the teachers last comments after a practical test. I got CHAR, HL, HB s' comments now. " are you too nervous?" Hearing this after every practical test. Strangely, this time i did not run out of the room...crying. Perhaps Wz was with me this time round...or it may be because I have too many this kind of experience which I grown tired of it. How I wish I had the talent from my friend who has this ability to just talk every thing that make so much sense.

I JUST HATE TO TALK, and for the next viva test, I got to grab a friend and rehearse it with me. IF not, words are not coming out of my mouth again. and sorry friends, can u dun say this 2 word- "good luck", I am super sensitive to these words due to my primary school trauma. So jia you or other words are good but not these 2 words.

I am feeling so sad to do anything now. this week is a bad week. I almost got trapped in the lift 2x. It means that I have been trapped in the lift for 4x (2x- succeeded). and i realized that i GOT lift Phobia , I got super tense up when I was alone in the lift and will actually avoid taking the lift and climbed the stairs instead. and I lost my things... I am super sad and frustrated... there are no outlet for me to vent out my anger.

HOWhowhow... and the key to this problem is to WORK HARD AND STOP WHINING, u are ng xiangjun SO STOP all this and Work hard=) I really really love this pic, i got the postcard for this=)

2011-01-19T02:50:00.002+08:00

what am i doing at this hour?

Haha! watching video!! tomorrow got presentation.
not that i am excited or stress that there is a presentation tomorrow.
but just that i couldn't get to sleep
but on the other hand, i am happy that i almost finish the video
and I have decided NOT to buy an organiser,
as i have so many note book but after a while, i will start throwing them around and never ever finish using a notebook before.
THerefore, i conclude it will be the same thing as an organiser.
I need to go and sleep
but the show is really very funny
love it to the max
and i finish watching the 20 and 21 episode of autumn concerto.
yea
wanted to load the 19 de, but it does not want to load for me
and i need to save money, no more macs now, at least for dec or expensive food. So poor now

Reality

2011-01-18T23:05:00.003+08:00

Rushing for Reports and Reports

Can't go out for outings

Can't go out and shop

But yet, it is just a part of life..."anyway you have to go through it" (Dad, 2010)

Lol! So many things to do!! and i still have 2 reports to hand in.

Got to start now!! plus got 3 presentation

and 1 Presentation tomorrow. and i am still in the last level of the dream world.

Let me have the last dream...going to complete the "story time" drama series.

and i wanted to buy a new wallet, finally wallet pronounce dead le as the coins keep dropping from my wallet.

i need a NEW wallet, but what i wanted best is shopping and Nature walk and tv time just by myself=)

AND MY COM is weird

2011-01-01T14:42:00.000+08:00

Marking the first day of a New year, was just the rain. I can see reflection taking place in everyone's blogs. Actually, i wanted to say something. But it just so happened that when i wanted to type it down, i forget everything.

Reality Game Final Episode

2011-01-01T01:34:00.003+08:00

Frank:(huh?) Hello

Truth: How are you feeling now? Are you feeling alright, still feeling feverish?

Frank: I am ok! Thanks for calling.

Truth: Are you coming to school tomorrow?

Frank: I think so.

Truth: Can you meet me at level 2 at the wooden bench? at 11am?

Frank: Okay. I will be there. But is there anything important?

Truth: I have something to tell you tomorrow... Bye bye (putting down the phone at a very fast speed)

Truth's thoughts: I have finally did it. Yea!!

Frank: (smiling to herself)

-------------------------------------------------------------------
The next day (8th November 2010)

Frank was waiting at level 2, sitting at the bench. Frank was reading her notes, while she waited. At 11am, there was still no one.

Frank: maybe he is just late. Shall wait for a while longer.

(Clock shows 11.11 am) Suddenly, there were a lot of balloons floating upwards. Frank looked out of the windows and saw the balloons. On every Balloon, it wrote: pls look out of the balcony.

Frank: (Ran out of the room and looked down)

What Frank saw: Truth's friends formed a heart shape. One of Truth's Friends said: "Hi Frank, Truth had something to say to you".

Truth: (was being pushed out of the crowd) Hi Frank, How are you?

Truth's Friend: Pls say the main point, it is getting scorching hot here...

Truth: Alright! Frank, will you be my girlfriend? I know that you might think that i am a playboy. But actually i am not. I am a very faithful person and i hope that u will trust me.... Sorry, pls wait for a moment. I forget what i wanted to say (taking out his script).

Frank: Smilez.

Frank's Friends: Accept him, Frank.

Frank ran down the stairs. Truth ran up the stairs. They meet halfway and Truth said: "will u be my girlfriend"

Frank: Yes.

and they lived happily forever. They got married after 3 years later when Truth got his promotion as a manager.

And for the misunderstanding of Puff being Truth's real penpal was solved. Truth and Frank are forever in love.

Happy ending!!

*Though in real life, some may not believe that there is true love in this world. But as long as you believe, it will come true. May all gain happiness in 2011 and forever. Find your true love, k!

2011-01-01T01:13:00.002+08:00

Dedicated to my Counselor:

ha ha! It was fun spending time with my friends during the eve of Happy New Year. With a New start, hope that everything will be smooth sailing. The fireworks was super nice and it bomb bomb bomb, with my eyes busy staring at the sky and my hands busy clicking on the camera!! It is super nice, and it was the first time that i see firework less than a basketball field distance away from me. However, it was so short-lived and after which it make me realized that I will be 21 next year.

The eve, I went to school early in the morning and did my LR report. It is almost done, but still left with one reference. I will get it print by tomorrow. Hope that I will do fine for this report. After which, I edited my projects slides and did some thinking for my Home report. At least, I started=) AND I went to shop and buy clothes at Bugis. Though, we have walked for hours. My friends bought their clothes, pencil box... but I haven't buy a watch yet. I need a formal Watch. (next birthday Present)

This week was...i am not sure whether I am productive or not:

On monday: Did Leisure presentation, slides, Buffet and shopping. In the end, I was so sleepy that i need to take a rest. So i slept the whole night

On tuesday: Went early to bedok for OT in Mh, eat popp! after that did the Comm project. After which, i slept on the bus home. Went home to do counseling report (Intro)

On wed: COunseling Report (Part 1). For the whole day, cause i was reading the book and thinking about how to write

On thurs: This also happened (Part 2). BUt read the Part 3. (Need to do the box out on sat)

On Fri: Whatever, i wrote in the first paragraph. Home report only did in point form.

On sat/ Sun: AIm to print out the Lifestyle Redesign Report. Complete Counseling Part 3, and half of HOme report.

2010-12-29T14:10:00.001+08:00

I make a promise. I will do it and won't give up, making the promise come true. Jia you=)

Reality Game part 8

2010-12-28T22:41:00.002+08:00

After 1 week since the party, Frank had not been going to school

Truth: Hey Ryan, do you know what happened to Frank?

Ryan: why? are you missing her. I heard that she is done with a fever for the past 1 week.

Truth: *silent (wonder how is she now?)

Truth: (looking at his phone, wondering whether to dial Frank's number)

Suddenly, Ryan snatched the phone from the back and dial on Frank no.

Frank: Hello. This is Frank.

(Ryan passing the phone back to Truth)

Truth: Hi...

Frank: erm, who are you?

Truth: hi, i am Truth
------------------------------------------------------------

2010-12-28T22:29:00.003+08:00

ha ha! i went for a hair cut today...so before my hair can get any longer again, it became short again=)

I just like the person who cut my hair, he is so...*charming

Today, got to do some work=). My goal (emo and complete by friday)

everyone work hard for your dreams and goals.

I will go to those developing countries to help out when i grow older every year=)

2010-12-25T02:23:00.001+08:00

Thanks to her. I finally cried.

Today, I received a letter. It is probably the nicest gift i ever had. It is a bookmark with the Name Hope on it. I just got very attracted to it and can stare at it for hours. Just looking at it, a lot of things went through my mind so fast that i does not know what it is. But just a very nice feeling.

It is not the letter that i cried. But just a person whose words really touch my heart. It has been so long since i cried and i really like the feeling. Especially during christmas... a sign of relief.

Now, it is really time to let go everything and do my work...I mean report.

Jia you!! got to reach my aim for this week. by sunday night=)

hope

2010-12-20T23:19:00.002+08:00

roar, i can't stand it...i am seriously unhappy!! who ever come and disturb me is like stepping on a mine...

and i still got reports to start, which i haven't

1. Home
2. Counseling

reports that need edit

1. lifestyle

and i think my counselor is going to kill me (Bai, 2010)

Videos to edit:

1. pottery
2. Junk food
3. Junk food
4. Junk food
... and it takes ages

Looking at happy pictures, make me want to escape into a world where only happy things happen. Happy things are always seen to be far-fetched. Yet, standing at a different angle. One may get more happiness...=)

2010-12-20T23:04:00.002+08:00

Just when my mood was getting better, I got seriously mad again.

" my friend PS me again, and this time is like she told me just a few minutes when i was about to reach again". I sort of know that she was busy this few days, but she promised me to go out... okay, should not be nagging about her...but still quite mad. and though i say to let her test her own medicine, i won't do it after thinking about it...=)

But if you happened to be reading this, ya... But i will soon be happy again. But don't Ps me last minute again. I don't mind that you are late, BUT DON'T PS ME =(

This few days, flooded with videos to do. i think i saw like blur images when i am walking back from school... Thousands and one thing to do...too many things to do and time is precious.

And sorry guys, for changing the timing for programme planning. But i promise to finish doing on thurs=)

I was also partially mad this few days, becos of my dad and the story book wasn't published yet=(

2010-12-15T20:46:00.002+08:00

i hardly scold anyone, until i really cannot stand it.

BUT HE IS REALLY A PIECE OF SHIT.

Reality game part 7

2010-12-14T19:29:00.000+08:00

Truth: Let’s go out and talk first (reaching out for Frank’s hand to put on his shoulder; to carry him out)

Frank’s thoughts: can I really accept him? His back is really very warm and comfortable

Truth: Frank, are you alright? (putting her down on the seat in the garden)

Frank: yess.. i am feeling just fine (Frank looked away while Truth still holding her hands)

Truth: Will you be willing to be my girlfriend?

Frank: (Looked at Truth in Shock) Stop Kidding. It is not really funny. We don’t suit each other.

Truth: Why not? You haven’t yet. You know you are my first person that i really love and hope to be with you forever.

Frank: Are you very sure that i am the first girl that you like? I mean I looked very ordinary and not pretty. And on the other hand, you are always surrounded my many pretty girls, and you are telling me that you don’t have any girlfriends before?

Truth: YES. I don’t have. Though I am very popular in school (with a grime), you take note of me, don’t you? You are the first girl that I really love. I am a serious lover and I take relationships very seriously. I once told a friend that I am wearing a mask that no one knows. I am a very different person. A person who has low confidence and used my laughter to hide my emotions and my low self-esteem. I longed to find someone that I truly loved and care about me.

Frank: Are you very sure?

Truth: You wait for a while (he ran to the nearest provision shop)

Truth: pls close your eyes

(Truth set up “somethings”)

Truth: you can open your eyes now

Frank: saw a heart shaped make up of sparklers.

Truth: Will you be my girlfriend? One and only true love

Frank:...

(Before she can say anything, Sharon called ...)

Sharon: Frank, we got to gather now. Come on.

Frank: Alright...and off she went. (look at Truth and she turned away)

Truth: (sit) How can i touch her heart?

2010-12-14T19:09:00.001+08:00

It has been a long time since I type here. Ha-ha! Today, I manage to sort of guess correctly the things that 2 of my friends gave me and it makes me happy. Because, it makes me feel that horoscope is sort of real and link to every human in terms of their personality. I like the feelings of able to look through people’s mind and I can be very frank and sometimes to frank. Haha! It is nice to sort of analyze people true personality, the personality that they longed to hide it. As a scorpion, I like to sort of dig it out. And that how people used to avoid Scorpio. So don’t let me be “interested” in you as a specimen.

Human are so magical in terms of their emotions. They show many sides of emotions and feelings that they longed to hide. And of course, that includes me too- I don’t like others to dig my inner feelings. Yet I longed to understand how I really feel. Though I don’t like to hear, I still want to know. This blog seems to be a platform for me to release what I wanted to say. Though some point in time, I will still hide it.

This few days, I have been feeling sort of sad. I felt that life is really very saddening and I am really emotionally drained from the upcoming projects and reports to do. I felt that currently I am in the avoidance stage, where I go with my emotions and feelings instead of my logic and rationale. I being to avoid doing things that I really hated and started to immerse myself with Television programme. It is a miracle that someone actually finds out and tells me that, “Are you using it as an escape”. I got a shock at that time; I felt that she is actually correct. Perhaps I am just escaping from something, someone...

My determination is also decreasing. I test myself using the MRT tracks. It is stupid but at least it helped me to test how well can I resist. There is sort of a more comfortable road home from Newton and I liked to take a bus home from there. But of course, I need to save money and I will fully utilize my concession and walk home when I reached my stop. And I actually failed. I took a bus home for most of the time.

This few days, I kept watching mischievous Kiss. I really like the male character, seong jo, expecially his evil smile. Boys like him is sort of annoying but that what girls like about him. But at least he is VERY faithful. I can keep watching the show non-stop. Perhaps it is partially, i am in the avoidance stage. I really liked him a lot. It is the first time that i really talked about idol in this way... Perhaps bad influence from Yixin (counsellor...pls take note) It makes me feel like falling in love. Ha-ha! But it is not time yet for me...(-_______-)

Reality game part 6

2010-12-12T00:23:00.002+08:00

Truth's thoughts: should i talk to her and ask her for a reply...perhaps she does not want to reply me?

Noisy boy: Are you going to prom tomorrow?

Quiet girl: Maybe not.

Noisy boy: As the sky turns blue, will you be there for me?... Lets' meet in the middle of the ballroom at 12am. I will be waiting there for you no matter what happen.

(before quiet girl can reply, noisy boy has gone offline)

Quiet girl's thoughts: should i go or not? (she stared at puff who is fast asleep. Puff prepared a another dress which is exactly the same for Quiet girl). I think i will get some sleep and think about it tomorrow.

The next day...

Ryan: how is it? are you ready for the prom tonight? So have you talk to the girl of your dreams and meet her tonight?

Truth: sort of yes. I have tell her who i am, however she did not give me any reply. and i got sort of worried that she won't come to the prom tonight, so i make an "agreement without getting her reply"

Ryan: cool man! first time, hearing you woo a girl. It seems that you hit a hard nail.... hEY, do you know who she is?

Truth: I sort of guess that she is Frank. but she did not tell me whether my guess is correct or not.

Ryan: So until now, you are still not sure who are you confessing to?... hey wait a minute, you sort of guess she is Frank and you confess to her?... does that mean that you like Frank?

(before Truth said anything, Truth and Ryan spotted Puff and Frank walking toward them)

Truth walked forward to them.

Truth: Hello. Will you be going to the Prom tonight? (Truth looked at Frank)

Puff: of course, i will go to the prom tonight. (Puff looked at Truth and looked at Frank)

Truth: How about you, Frank?

Frank: erm, i am still thinking about it. I suppose maybe not... Sorry, we got to go now, class is starting soon. (Dragging Puff away.)

Puff: Bye Truth.

Ryan: Give up, Truth. I think Ms Frank has no interest in you at all. On the other hand, I think Puff is in love with you. Maybe You will like to change your choice.

Truth's Thoughts: It looks like she is not coming to prom tonight at all.

Truth: I am very confident that Frank likes me. (Thinking about the words that they chatted at first)

Ryan: I admire your courage. But i doubt so. Do you need my help?

(The night of prom)

Puff: are you going to prom tonight? (busy preparing her dress and putting on make-up)

Frank's thoughts : (still sitting in front watching tv, but her mind is somewhere else: should i go and meet the guy that i always wanted to know who he is?) since I know that truth can't possibly like me. But...

Frank: I don't think i will be going. Enjoy your night, k.

Puff: all right, but... never mind. I will enjoy myself. haha! meeting new guys and meeting truth.

Frank: You are meeting Truth?

Puff: haha! yes, we had a date.

Puff's thoughts: no matter what i will tell truth that i like him.... i am sorry Frank. let me borrow your quiet girl name and tell him that i am Quiet girl.

Puff: Bye Frank. (Whispering, sorry Frank)

(Puff leaving the house)

Frank's thought: Sorry Noisy boy. (watching television program)

Frank went to on the computer.

(On the computer, it shows : no one is online currently)

zzzzzzzzz...you got a mail

feme: Hey Frank, you are not to prom tonight? Do you want to join in a treasure hunt game?

Frank: huh? Treasure hunt? I thought you want to go to prom tonight

Feme: At first yes, but i think about it and felt like not attending. After all, not many of my clique is going, so We decide to play this treasure hunt game. Do you want to join in?

Frank: I think i will like to join in. Thanks for the invitation. haha!

Feme: okay! we shall meet at tiong at 7pm. You will be in sharon's group. By the way, the last station will be in the prom ballroom. haha! i set it cos i wanted to take a look at the prom. Is that okay with you?

Frank: yes, it is okay.

(At 7 pm, Frank set off)

(meanwhile, Puff is busy mixing around with people in the ballroom and Truth came.)

Puff: hey Truth, you came?

Ryan: haha! Puff, you looked great today. May i ask you to dance?

Puff: yep, but wait... i got something to tell Truth. (being dragged away by Ryan)

Truth went out to the garden alone, waiting to go back to the ball room at 12 am. He walked through and fro... feeling very anxious.

-----------------------------------------
Meanwhile. frank was still on a treasure hunt with her other friends

Sharon: Hey frank, we are going to lose. Our group got to break up to look for the other clues. Can you go to the prom first? to look for the crown and take a photo of it first?

Frank: All right, I suppose i can go there alone first.

-----------------------------------------
back at the prom.

Puff: Hey Truth. So you are in the garden. i have been looking for you, high and low.

Truth: Hi Puff, why are you looking for me? is there anything?

Puff: Erm, Truth. I have something that i wanted to tell you. and i suppose that it will be better to tell you face to face. ...actually I am Quiet girl.

(Meanwhile Frank was hiding behind the pillar, hearing the conversation)

Puff: I wanted to tell you this and through the conversation, i have slowly grow to love you.

Truth: you are Quiet girl?... (he went into shock, how about Frank?)

Puff: and yesterday, you ask me whether do you want me to be your girlfriend and my answer is yes.

Truth: erm... sorry, but i think that there is a misunderstanding here. I am very sorry. Are you really quiet girl?

Puff: yes,... we have been partner for the competition for about one month.

(Frank's heart sank, when she heard Puff confessing to him.)

Frank's thoughts: so Noisy boy is really Truth...and Puff really like Truth a lot. (Frank walked away slowly)

(Meanwhile, Ryan was also in the garden, he heard the conversation and saw Frank hiding in the pillar and walking away in tears.)

Truth: Sorry, i think that there is a misunderstanding. I thought that you are quiet girl is someone and confess to her. I am so sorry about this.

Puff: but I really love you a lot. Why can't you love me too? who do you like?

Truth: I am so sorry about this...(walk away, leaving Puff alone in the garden)

Ryan: Hey truth, i have something to tell you (dragging truth away to the side)

Ryan: I heard your conversation about the love confession. and sad to tell you, i am not the only one to heard it. Someone heard it and left with tears. You apparently broke 2 ppl hearts in one night.

Truth: who?

Ryan: Frank heard it too. She heard the whole conversation.

Truth: really? she really heard it? and she cried? where is she now? I got to explain to her.

Ryan: Are you sure you really like Frank? she does not look like she suits you, do you know? and after all, she is not Your QUIET girl. she is just an ordinary girl who is just an average girl

Truth: I understand that. but i just cannot stop thinking and looking at her. I got to explain to her. Where is she now? tell me.

Ryan: she left and she looked like she is walking towards the backstage of the ballroom.

(Truth ran to the backstage, looking very worried and anxious)

Ryan: Love is just like this. Hope that all lovers will be forever together.

--------------------------------------------------
(at the backstage, it is very dark)

Truth: Frank, are you there? can you hear me?

(a pot dropped and a clanking sound was made)

Frank's thoughts: oh my leg, it hurts. I think i must have sprained it. what a bad day. (Frank started to sob) my best friend is with the person that i loved. My best buddy online is the person that i wished that he could love me. All went wrong...

Truth: Frank, are you there?

Frank's thoughts: I must have been hallucinating. That seems to be Truth's voice. It can't be...

(as Truth's voice got louder)

Truth: are you there, Frank? answer me please. I am sorry, k. Please come out.

Frank's thoughts: Oh my leg, it really hurts.

Frank: Is there anyone, I am here.

Truth: Is that you Frank? wait for me.

In the dark. Frank and Truth met.

Truth: what happened, Frank? Are you alright?

Frank: I tripped over the shelf and i sprained my ankle. and now i can't walk.

Truth: Can you get up? I will help you up.

Frank: my leg really hurts a lot. I can't get up now.

Truth: Come, i will carry you on my back.

Frank: is that alright? erm... i think no. Can you get someone to help?

Truth: Are you avoiding me? (touching Frank's face which is covered with tears.)

Frank: No...(with her voice sounding rough). why should i avoid you?

Truth: Because You know that your best friend, Puff confess her love to me. and you are afraid that you will...

Frank: No. I am not avoiding you. Though i know that she likes you. I knew that... and you are just a normal friend. why should i avoid you?

Truth: (Holding Frank's shoulder and looking into her eyes. Frank tried to avoid direct eye contact.)... because you like me.

Frank: No. (Trying to push his hands away)

Truth: Hear me out, okay! I don't love Puff. I only treated her as a friend. My heart lies with you. I really love you, Frank.

Frank: (in a shock, before she can say anything)...

Truth hugged and kiss Frank. Frank tried to resist but in the end, give in.

Frank: But why me?

Truth: (still hugging Frank) Haha! i did not notice you in the first place, Frankly. But i sort of got attracted to you, when you seems special as everyone surrounded me and started to greet me but you did not. I got really curious about you. I started to notice you and your every actions. Your smile really captivated me. Your words and your silent really keep my heart pumping. The feelings that whenever i meet you, is really very different from what i had with other girls.

Frank: that is because that you are always being chased by girls. Now, you are just thinking that i am a person, or perhaps a goal that you wanted to achieve. And now, you reach the goal. you will simply kick me aside.

Truth: No. That is not true, and i will prove it to you...

2010-12-01T19:15:00.003+08:00

i felt that i am lagging behind in whatever i do, especially due to the high dose of ice cream the week before. I am now physically and mentally drained. I felt that i am very slow in the things that i do, and desperately need very clear instructions to do my work. Need to be very organized in my work, listing down the things that i need to finish and etc. Be clear and not waste any single time on not necessary things. I tried to reduce my tv time and do my work or read some books now. However, I felt that i am emotionally tired. Monday, i was getting a big headache and i went home early, so i did not attend 2 meeting... felt being lag behind. GOTTA catch up... by reading minutes.

Today, i was watching a movie which our neuro teacher was showing us. It was funny and it talks about a lady who will lose the memory the next day due to a brain trauma. I wonder how it will be like to lose the short term memory and forget what happen after everyday, only retaining the previous memory before the car accident. It might be a good thing, if you often lived in happiness previously. Similar incident happen to my friend colleague and it seems normal to her. Perhaps, if one lived a simple life, does time really matter to one?

Reality game part 5

2010-11-29T19:36:00.005+08:00

Truth's thoughts: Did i make a correct guess? She is actually in love with me...

-------------------------------------------
For the following week before the night at the prom, Truth was waiting online for his quiet girl. But strangely quiet girl was never online.

Truth's thoughts: where have she gone?

(back in school)
Truth and Frank walked past each other everyday, without a word of communication. Perhaps, they just lacked of opportunities to talk as Truth was always surrounded with girls.

November 8 2010: Truth saw Frank walking right in front of him. He ran forward, wanting to grab hold of her bag like what he always did to others. But before Truth could grab her bag...

Ryan and Truth other's girl friends: Hey Truth!! (touch Truth's shoulders)

(Ryan could sense that Truth wanted to talk to Frank as he saw Frank just an arm length away from Truth)

(Frank who heard the Truth's commotion, turn around and look at Truth. Truth looked into Frank's eyes... Before he could utter a word, Frank looked away and walked further and further away.)

This carries on for the whole week. Just like two strangers...walking past each other

(The night before prom)

Truth:zzzzzzzzzz (out popped a window) Quiet girl was online

Truth's thoughts: She is online.

Truth: Hello, are you there?

Frank's thoughts: Should I reply back?

Quiet girl: Yup, I am Here.

Truth: How are you? WHy are you not online for the whole week?

Quiet girl: Just that, I am avoiding someone...( Frank wanted to delete what she type, when a bell ring and she accidentally press on the send key)

Truth's thoughts: who is she avoiding? Me?

(At the door)

Puff: Hey Frank, I am sleeping here tonight. Going to camp with you. I need some ideas about the dress that i am wearing to the prom night tomorrow. (Before Frank could say a word, Puff went to the room)

Puff: Frank, could you get me a drink?

Frank: ALright!!

(Msn)

Truth: Are you avoiding me? The other time, did i guess correctly? You like Truth?

(Hey, the com is on. Let me see who is Truth talking to? Puff reading the computer.)

Puff's thoughts: Frank like Truth and she did not tell me about it...

Puff( using quiet girl's name:): Erm, No... I don't like Truth, he is so arrogant, like to play with girls...

Truth: Erm, he is actually not like that. Perhaps, it is what others see him to be as. But he is quite a nice person and he treat people with sincerity especially his love ones... What if...

Puff: I don't see him as this type of person (Puff is just lying). and what if?

Truth: I tell you That i am Truth.

Puff's thoughts: he is truth. Frank is talking to Truth.

Truth: and if i tell you that i love you...

Puff: He is truth and i am talking to truth. He likes Frank...

(Meanwhile, Frank:" Puff, your drink is here")

(Puff, immediately sign out from msn)

Truth: She is offline. I wonder how she felt about me. Did she get a shocked. Am i too direct?

(Puff and Frank was sharing ideas about Puff's dress for tommorrow's prom until late at night.)

-------------------------------------------
(When Puff was asleep, Frank went online...)

Reality game part 4

2010-11-26T15:55:00.006+08:00

Puff: Why are you talking to him? He knows you? why are you both talking....

(Frank was lost in the thoughts, wondering and recalling what happened just now)

Frank's thoughts: he actually knows me! Frank!!...(Still thinking), I must be hearing it wrongly...

-------------------------------------------------------
(In class, Ding Dong!! Class ended)

Mr Tan: Hey class, wait!! I have a question. Just wanted to see a raise of hands who is going for the prom tonight.

(Almost the whole class raise the hands, except Frank and a couple of boys)

Puff: Frank, you are not going to the prom?

Frank: I am not sure, let me think about it. I am very tired...

-----------------------------------------------------

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....you got a mail

Quiet girl: Who is that? Oh Noisy boy.

Noisy boy: how is your day again?

Quiet girl: Just alright. it wasn't a very good day, anyway! I got a bash on my face by a basketball. And my specs fell on the ground.

Noisy boy: (what a coincidence, Frank got hit by the basketball too and her specs fell on the ground. Is it really FRANK that i chatting with. Let me see what happen...) so what happen next.... are you alright?

Quiet girl: Yep, just had a bruise on my head...but fine. Ermmmm, nothing really happened...except, he pick up my specs...

Noisy boy: That good.... Who is the he? You mean... the guy that you like?

Quiet girl:.......yeeeeeeesssssssss... it is like so embarrassing in front of him. I hope to go in a hole when he picked up specs... (oh CRAP, i does not know his identity and i have told him so many things.)

(Just as Noisy boy was about to ask if quiet girl was Frank, Quiet girl went offline)

Noisy boy: 0___0!!! she went offline...

----------------------------------------------------
Quiet girl's thought: did i tell him too many things. It can't be so coincidence... that i am talking to Truth... it can't be the truth.

Reality game part 3

2010-11-25T20:55:00.002+08:00

Quiet girl: (Yawn!!) Today is not a very good day for me.

Noisy boy: Why?

Quiet girl: I have fallen in love with a guy in school. He is like the sun in our school and he is always accompany by girls in the school. Every time when i see him, he is like being surrounded by lots of girls in school. Even my best friends like him. I felt that in his eyes, perhaps i am just one lonely shadow floating around in the school. I doubt that he even notice me. Since there are like 300 hundreds students in the course, and i wasn't even in his class.

Noisy Boy: Who is the guy? Are you referring to me? Perhaps you really think too lowly about yourself. At least, i notice you and i am a very popular guy in school too. Have more confident in yourself. Perhaps, this guy wears a mask in front of people... you never know.

Quiet girl: Yep, referring to you (just kidding). Perhaps i am not that bad as i really thought i am to be. Btw, What do you mean when you say he wears a mask?

Noisy boy: A mask is something that hides you from showing the real personality that you have in front of people...

Quiet girl: So are you saying you are wearing one too? Behind the real you, which is always surrounded by many people?

Noisy boy:... to be frank, yesssss. I felt that i am not living alone in this world. Indeed, i am not alone. Always being binded by other's people expectation to do well in many things. Unable to really show my emotion out to others. In school i may seem to be a very fun loving person, surrounded by lots of people, yet... there is no one who I really can talk to... and I am just appearing or doing what others expects me to do...

Quiet girl: Perhaps in this environment, everyone has that kind of mask. A mask that allows you to breathe, having a bit of personal space. Behind that mask, is filled with self expectation and things that others wants you to excel on... I understand that kind of feeling.

Noisy boy: yep!! at least, being online i will be able to freely express myself, without the eyes of others. Being the true me... Btw, who is the guy that you like?

Quiet girl: Yesss... that true, with no opinion of others and don't need to be concern about how others will look at you. haha! since you are in the same course as me, make a guess!!

Noisy boy: All right, shall guess. Popular guy... james?

Quiet girl: No! wrong (chuckled). Popular than james...

Noisy boy: ok!! more popular than james. Ryan?

Quiet girl: Wrong. But you are close... how about guessing yourself.

Noisy boy: Truth.

Quiet girl's thoughts (shocked): he is truth. the one! is he really the one. I have been talking to truth.

Noisy boy:....hey!! did i make a correct guess? Why did you not continue talking?

Quiet girl (still in shock): Sorry, i got to go...

Noisy boy: Hey wait!! Will you be going to prom next week friday?

(Quiet girl left the conversation at 11.11pm)

-----------------------------------------------
(the next day:)

Frank's thoughts: How come my heart is bouncing so heavily today? wonder if anything bad will happen? Or is he near me?

(Frank looked around as she was walking to school from the long long passage way)

Frank: what a relief!! there is no one around... that good! I suppose that is just my senses that is working wrongly today.

(Suddenly, a ball came flying hitting Frank's face and her specs fall onto the ground)

James (the owner of the ball): I am so sorry, Frank. Sorry that i hit you!! are you alright!! So sorry, i got to run... Treat you food next time.

Frank: it's okay!! i am fine. (Looking for her specs on the ground. Just as Frank spotted her specs, a hand pick the specs up and hand it to her).

Frank: Thank you. (wearing her specs)

Truth: You are welcome. Are you alright? You are Frank from Class 3 right? In psychology, I saw you a couple of times?...

Frank( in a shock): Yep, thank for picking my specs up...

(before Frank can continue...)

Puff(Frank's friend): Hey Frank, you are so slow... We are late for our class now...

Reality Game Chapter 2

2010-11-22T21:37:00.003+08:00

After the lecture ended, Frank ran home... Truth went out with his other friends to the nearby shopping center to continue their chat.

Truth: Yawn!! i am feeling so tired.

Ryan: You deserve it, for chatting until late at night. So who is the girl that you have been chatting with for so long? huh!! There is so many girls waiting for you in school, mr prince charming. So who is the girl who manage to open your heart?

Truth: I am not sure myself too. She says that she was in the same course as us in the same school. At least, that narrows down to just 300 students in the course.

Ryan: You haven't seen her face yet? that's like so long since you chatted with her online? You are so slow...

(Truth suddenly became very quiet)

---------------------------------------------
Back at home, Frank immediately on the computer...

Frank thoughts': he is not home yet.

Frank waited in front of her computer...until she fell asleep.

-------------------------------------------

Ryan: wow, we have been chatting for so long. Lets' go for dinner now. I wan to eat...

Truth: Sorry Ryan, I think you will have to go with the rest. I promise my mother to eat dinner at home.

Ryan: Wow!! when are you such a good boy? I really wonder...is it really auntie or the mystery girl

Truth: I really got to go!! and i really wanted to tell you... You are full of rubbish
(Chuckled**)

------------------------------------------
Truth's thoughts: oh my!! It is like midnight. I wonder will she be online now. Click!! Oh she is online!!

Noisy boy: hey!! what are you doing?

------------------------------------------
Meanwhile, " YOU got a mail!! zzzzzzzzzz"

Quiet girl: oh he is online now!!

The Reality Game chapter 1

2010-11-18T21:49:00.006+08:00

Their conversation seems never ending. Their words are always repeating and yet none of them got bored. Ever since, the game of Love game brought them together. Being paired up online and playing the game together, winning the 2nd in the love game competition, they seemed to be always online and offline together.

Noisy boy: "Hey quiet girl, what are you doing now?"

Quiet girl: "Nth!! just surfing the net and doing my homework. How was your day today? Having fun in school?"

Noisy boy:"Haha! yep, school is just so fun for me.

Quiet girl: Any stories to share about girls together...since you have been telling me how popular you are in school? how girls simply adore you to the max.

Noisy boy:Yep, i think so too!! the girls simply chase me from one end to another end of school. Did you see it, since you are in the same school as me... haha?

Quiet girl: No, haha! i am just oblivious to my surrounding. I don't see their faces when people walks past me, so apparently i won't know and I don't even know how you look so... ya!!

Noisy boy: yea!! u are simply just blind, lol!!

Quiet girl: you may not know, maybe i am in reality.

Noisy boy: knowing you for like half a year, and knowing that you are in the same school as me... but why did we not meet even once?

Quiet girl: don't you know that the truth is always horrible, so why do we have to meet up?

Noisy boy: yea!! so you mean you are very ugly is it...

Quiet girl: yea!! i am very ugly that all... i got to go now. so see you again tmr!!

Noisy boy: Hey,.........(she went offline at a super fast speed everytime whenever we talk about appearance. Wonder what she is doing?)

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Back in Princeviewly University.

Puff: JiGGLE, Frank!! cheer up!! You look super tired every night. What have you been doing all night long?

Frank: Just chatting online with one of my friend.

Puff: lol! what time did you end your ...chat?

Frank: About 4am. I suppose.

Puff: lol!! Did you really fall in love with this guy? You have been chatting with him for a month and chatting from the evening to late at night everyday.

Frank: Lol!! Maybe...I dun know. He seems to be a very nice person to talk to after all and he is very friendly.

Puff: hey, maybe he is your true prince charming after all...look at your 3 o'clock direction.

Frank: huh?

(Puff was pointing to the most handsome and popular man that she think it was in our course. Indeed, it was very true. Truth was just voted to be Mr university in our school.)

Frank: yup!! he was always being surrounded by other girls. He won't take note of you, Puff. Forget it...you know!! We are just normal school students who are not sporty or glamorous in the eyes of others. He won't take note of us. Anyway, we will be late for class. Lets' go...

Puff: Yup!! what you said is probably right! Lets' go! but it won't harm to let me take a sneak look at him.

Frank: Ok! you shall take a look, while i attend class without you. (Frank just walk past Truth)

(Puff continued to look at truth, covering her mouth with her book)

----------------------------------------------------------------
Truth, on the other hand, was wondering : " how come this girl can just walk past me without even look at me". Wonder who she is??

Ryan: Truth, who are staring at? You finally thought of having a girlfriend, is it? Staring at some pretty girl?

Truth: No. Just that...By the way, do you know who is that girl? (Pointing to her backview to Ryan)

Ryan: lol! You are finally curious about someone. Oh, you mean the girl who was in pink and white? She is... let me check it out for you.

(Coming back)

Ryan: The girl is Frank. She is a year 2 student in Psychology, same as us. How come we did not get to see her? She looks quite cute and pretty. But heard from my friend that her eye sight was not that good and she is quite quiet.

Truth: Oh i see. No wonder she did not get a close look at how handsome i looked...lol!! So she is called Frank... o...

(Truth have been staring at her backview throughout the whole lecture)

2010-11-14T22:48:00.003+08:00

Looking at my previous post, i think that it was the first time i voice my displeasure online. These school opening week was not a very nice week for me, thinking that my birthday was on that day too!! I had to rush out my report that i thought it was supposed to be handed in 5 weeks after school reopen and not on week 5 of school. All the celebration mainly from my family side and my poly clique... i miss my best friends to beside me and giving me my present. Lots of people own me present. while their presents was stacking up inside my drawer. One overseas , while the others was super busy with their upcoming exam... and as usual exams are the most important for them and me too!! so i understand their situation!! after all, i did that to them often.

Now listening to emo songs from love writer 1. He stopped writing love stories which is rather a sad thing and now i am super immerse in love writer 3 blog...however his stories are published only weekly. I finally finished my report and got it printed out!! But i realised that i have 5 more reports which require intense research and lots of words (min 1500 for 1 report, others are 2000 words each). However, life is full of hope and I got to live positive as i can't afford to collapse... xiangjun says this: life is full of ups and downs. No one lives a perfect life and the only thing that one can do is just to live happily with it and just don't disappoint ppl around you. After all, others' happiness will be your happiness (one may disagree or agree)

After today, I am not watching tv anymore le... i supposed. Got to live a healthy lifestyle. with only exercises and books in my life, i supposed that the way others wants me to live. The emo song is really making me upset, but i really can't stop myself from pressing the mute button. Got to sleep early so as to wake up early to do those assignments. and project work!!

Random: I am one who really enjoyed playing pet society, becos there is no school and all one needs to earn money was just to visit their friends. My pets ryar and skies are able to design their own house, and they will never die of hunger. different variety of food available for them. If human are able to determine their own life, control their own future, will it be a good or a bad thing? Ignoring others' presence, thoughts, their feelings, their words and their actions. When the clock strike 12am, i will be back to my usual self... quiet and sedated!! or changed to my childhood days- talkative, irritating and crappy!!

2010-11-12T23:03:00.001+08:00

i just feel like scolding someone now. I really admired those who have flawless English language. Now i have to correct my english and hopefully, i can sent to charlotte by tonight. BUT it really sucks!! i HECK CARE LE!! I NEED TO GET MY SLEEP!!!! so rude22@

2010-11-05T10:07:00.003+08:00

Yesterday is the last day of my clinical. Having mixed feeling of wanting to continue to stay and wanting to go back to be with my friends in school! When i last seen the office, where i had to go and report to Ama about the plans that i make. The new friends that I make during clinical, having a fun time during clinical, as my sup was a nice person to befriend, though she still acts like a supervisor. She taught me a lot of things and i really appreciate it. Ha ha! any way school is going to start next week and i got to go back to school on Monday! and not to mention, i still have a report to hand in next week. probably would start today!! got to start soon. but let me have fun today!!

i have really enough sleep yesterday!! ha-ha! it is super nice to rest in bed and wake up like no one business. don't need to wake up, thinking of plans and case notes. endless of sleepless night, where i slept early but wake up early to do case notes and plans for my treatment, where my only television programme was Holland village replay.

today, got to go out and want to buy something from daison!! I want to go vivo!! But i cant find anyone who has flexible timings. ha ha!! never mind=')

the halloween night at sentosa on saturday is super fun lo! we went for trail walk, though i felt it is ex initially, but quite worthwhile. ha ha! the place was filled with people screaming and it was so thrilled to hear other screaming, oh my i am just weird. gee!! during the trail, i kept stepping on people's shoes. ended up apologizing so much! and i find my trait: when i am feeling scared, i will just keep on laughing till my stomachache. But it is just super funny to see their eyes so big and glow in dark and thinking that they are just human who dress like that, it is just super funny and not frightening at all. unless, i suddenly turn and see a head in front of me, then i will be scared... that all! but it is fun!! but a pity that i did not get to go to the sky tower. wanted to go up as i have been seeing the sky tower for a few times, but i never got to go up every-time. so it's a pity. but anyway, it is nice to go home together as a group since it is getting dark too!!

ha ha! time to watch tv. and i learn to do your best for everything in the world. and do it fast before anything bad happen. But i only realised it after clinical!!

xj

2010-10-30T09:01:00.001+08:00

hope that it will be a nice next week!!

2010-10-19T03:36:00.004+08:00

Life is not as straight as it looks. all we can do is to try our very best in everyday life. OH my god, I think i am getting mad. cos i felt that my words made sense now=')

I am feeling so hungry now. Because, I have to let my sup check on my CRD by possible today!! so Woke up at 2 plus, and because I need to plan treatment for 2 children... what should i do for that kid. I think i will want to cook maggi mee for myself early in the morning. Ha ha! can't stop feeling happy yet lethargic early in the morning. Being human, one has to happy right, no matter what difficulty we face. Though the events that we face in attachment may not be of the best scenario to some of us, but i believe that there are always people to assist us and guide us along the way. I still can remember that i think i impress the examiner by stating this sentence ' i believe that whatever the teacher did it is all for our own good regardless how boring the lesson is'. ha ha! this sentence is not meant to shoot the teachers, but i sincerely believe that the things that they did now is all for our own good. Truthfully, i believe that teachers truly meant to help us.

2010-10-16T22:12:00.003+08:00

just realize that i really like stars a lot, as the window, my foam board and my wall is covered with stars. or at least there is some stars presence. I don't know what to say, but since yesterday i felt very moody. thought can go out for a walk this afternoon. but my friend is too busy and she is flooded with lots of work, so it is better not to disturb her and drag her out. Next week, i will drag her out if possible. hope that aust friend will come back and we can go out together once again. When one grows up, one will tend to miss the happy times that one had when they are young. I finally see and understand my cousins' feeling when they told me to enjoy the times being in college with your friends. this memories is really very memorable, and i really wanted to treasure them as much as possible. don't know is it because i have been hearing sad songs since Friday, i really felt like crying out loud. but on the other hand, i wanted to rush out my room and watch tv. contradicting right. The worse of it is my MOO MOO is having his nice sweet bath so tonight he can't sleep with me anymore, must wait till he is dry.

Homework:
1. do CRD
2. read up my sup books
3. ABC book and know how to administer it
4. plan for next week clients
5. prepare for PDMS

JIA YOU! everyone=")

2010-10-16T13:26:00.003+08:00

ha ha! whenever i see such pictures, i felt that i am more fortunate than many others. when i was a new born baby, a fortune teller told my parents that i can only live till ha ha...not very long. Recently, they told me this... and the best thing that i can only do is to live happily everyday. Since, I have chose this path might as well finish it with a happy heart. Becos, i know that i may regret eventually as why didn't i continue with this path and choose to go back to the starting point. Even though, there are many times where you can't see the end of the road and where is the road going to end. But somehow, one day, you will finish walking the path. though at the end, you may choose to take another different type of racing track after you finish your race. But you can tell yourself that you have already completed the race just like what others did...

I keep telling my friend that if i let the patient fall, i will let him fall on me. and i will pretend to faint... and if i don't think i can take the examination, i will just faint. But i felt that if i will to die now, i wanted to complete the examination or finish walking to the path because i wanted to prove myself right and test the extent to which my abilities can go. I wish that i can be as competent as others, but many people in this world are just not alike... there are many aspects in which you are stronger and others are weaker. to me, i felt that i am a very very ordinary girl with weak muscles and not very strong in my studies, my EQ and IQ is not very high. Whatever, i do i am always slower than others and often clueless...the things that i have now, i gain it through hard work. Though sometimes working hard does not equal to success. But seeing people with happy smile on their face is probably the best thing in the work that i can get. Every happy smile in the world, i hope that when i am gone (don't know when), i can bring these memories along. As for my parents, they hope that i can be as happy as i can be and enjoy everyday...

that the best wishes of every parents and i believe it... since the path had already laid down for you, keep n walking, live your life happy and people around you happy as i will not know the next minute that they will be gone...

2010-10-14T20:22:00.002+08:00

Yesterday as i stared from the office into the sky, i saw a heart shape cloud. sort of it!! and they looks like cotton sweets, feel like munching it as i was feeling hungry and very tired. Flooded with documentation, actually not a lot but I have a client report to do cos of one of the assessment that i did beforehand, as most of my friends know that my English is not that fantastic, i really find it very hard to write the report and there is no references for me to follow. Why there is no TYS for documentation?

today, was a total shag day for me!! Actually, i had 2 clients to see in the first place. so i planned for only 2. But one of the client suddenly said that she is not coming, so ignoring that part I apparently deleted that part out from my brain and forget all the things that i had to do with this client. Suddenly, in the afternoon my supervisor said that she is coming for her appointment. Then we apparently panic because she had not really taught me the skills of handling babies. But ended up it is alright!! so i had to do the documentation to do for 2 cases. It was so shag for me!! my shoulders are hurting so much because i sort of use my muscles to support the children. AND knowing that i had long head biceps inflammation, it becomes worse and now, i cannot type or do anything above my shoulders as it will hurt.

Yep!! tomorrow, i am going out with my friend!!

2010-10-11T22:25:00.002+08:00

Things to do by today:
1. 2 documentation
2. 1 patient report
3. planning of activities for my 2 clients tomorrow
4. planning activities for my mid evaluation
5. CRD to do

haha! part of the work is I added in on my own. Now i am wearing my favourite shirt and typing in front of the computer. there is so many things to do...haha! but it is a miracle, i am not feeling stress any more... but just i am feeling very happy now. that so weird. but any way, doing assessment seems to be more and more common, except that i need to be quick with my thinking and be more decisive with my results. it is not that i does not wan to be decisive, is that i do not wan to give a wrong result to the client and it won't be fair to them!! but anyway, i need more pracitice and i am catching my friends at attachment place to do assessment and treatment on them. haha! it is a sort of a torture to them cos they felt tired after 5 mins, haha! but it will train on their trunk! IT IS ALL FOR THEIR OWN GOOD... haha! kept laughing cos i gave my sup a fright!! haha! and i think my face turn red, i think i really don't want to live and give her a fright. haha!! so funny! life should always remain happy as it is, shouldn't it be like that

smile no matter what, as long as you treat ppl with sincerity and a true heart, a heart willing to care and give in, you will remain happy forever!!! smile everyone!

2010-10-09T14:39:00.003+08:00

haha! just fell in love with this necklace once i saw it!! but of cos, it is just an image only.

yesterday is my last day for tuition. it ended very peacefully and the session went quite well. as usual, my kid and i were laughing like mad from the start to the end. i think i will miss seeing her and torturing her every week with flooding maths and science questions for her to do. she just show me her prelims results, her results improve from failing 3 subjects to only 2 and her maths instead of a U is a E now. haha! so happy when i see it. But at least she make some improvement in her grades, am i right!!! haha! and i think after the tuition lesson, she ought to get herself a sticker book as she was flooded with stickers all from me and her bro. her bro told her that he saw me before, but i just couldn't recognise him!! after all, i have a quite a common face, i guess.

this week 2 clinical pass on with a terrible ending!! i dun feel like thinking about it anymore, cos i just live in denial, just hope that i will not remind at all. every clinical, this thing happen...it is so irritiating. never mind, i shall look forward, after i am a very happy girl!! haha! and i am just a simple simple student, never mind, if it is not destined to be mine, it wouldn't be mine. just work hard for it, that what i really wanted. I have a nice sup, i am quite happy with it, no matter what the ending is, i will just carry on LIVING. after all, that's not the end. being happy and healthy is the nicest thing in the world. seriously need a time out and got to go out today, have a walking trail again!!! just need to finish typing out notes and research and planning 5 activities and i am done!!

Being so optimistic everyday, haha! cos i am so used to spread my unhappiness around le!! so my heart felt so light now!!

2010-10-08T03:47:00.003+08:00

Haha! I once promise myself that i must be happy everyday, no matter what happen... however, it just seems quite a hard thing. though, i manage to keep a smile on my face, by laughing at the past events and my silly act. though, i really hope that i can master the skills of helping people but ...it seems like a hard thing, though i really know that i need years and lots of practice to do it. Never the least, i just hope to continue.. as i tends not to give up easily cos i need to conquer everything before i really can move on in my life~ that my philosophy, unless i am really having a breakdown.

and 2 of my friends are having birthday this week. and my dear kid is having psle this week!! and i got to give her last minute preparation... rar and i could not go for the meeting up with friends. hope that sat, i can go for another night walking trail. but there is so many things to do!! and my stomach is now growling for food. and it is now only 4 plus doing clinical documentation, still left with 1.5 doc to do. and planning for the kid. hahaha! i need some sleep.

2010-10-01T09:52:00.003+08:00

yesterday, I really felt like crying and I got a shock...was in a blank yesterday. cried on Tuesday because I felt that I really cannot make as a therapist. But in the end, after speaking to my mummy... I just continue on to see first. Though I have plans on what I wanted to do after quitting this course, but whether I am able to get into the course is still a question mark. So i have to preserve on. at least for this week, and really let me seriously considered about my future.

right, back to thursday, I lost control and haha... I don't know whether I am able to speak out here... so haha! but I lived in anxiety and shock in the afternoon. So exhausted especially when i only have the 7-11 food. plus a drink. So hungry... in order to replenish my energy, I got to eat more from now onwards. and I promise myself that I will always remain a smile forever...haha! But at least there is an improvement, at least I am still able to laugh or smile at her though my heart feel like crying and my tears almost flows out. So remaining happy is the best medicine cos one will never know when they will die... always remain happy and positive and just do your work... as long as you tried your best to do it, no matter how bad or good results will be...as least you can tell yourself that you have tried and it is just the destiny or your memory or skills or knowledge that is not up to the criteria or expectation.

But at least you have tried...so smile like me. haha! at least now , whenever i go I always suddenly laugh...perhaps just a way of relieving stress and smile at those funny things. Oh my god, and i started to open up after exposing to little kids, though i am still quite quiet during attachment. But at least, I am happy...

Got to do 2 planning but i did not really know their case well. Really hope that my document that i did over the nights and the planning and finding resources for today activities and the 2 treatment session that i am carrying out today will be fine... after all, i won't die if i did badly only i just had to say good bye. so hope that i get rid of my timid character and bring up the courage that i had when i climb the rocks. and ...having the constant thought of having the best for my patient, i will tried my best. smileZ

My favourite music and it is playing in the radio!! loved it
today is friday and sat, i WILL DO MY BEST TO DO THE 2 ASSESSMENT =)

xIaNgJun
the joy is always in you, find it and always smiles.

2010-09-21T23:43:00.003+08:00

there are so many things happening in this week! ha ha! today, we just had our class picnic! it was so fun=) kites was flying all over the place at marine barrage and food was available and drinks too! just as YEP, we played Monopoly... it was so fun, pairing up. though cancer and Scorpio can never be together playing monopoly!! ha ha! SO SLOW...

It was a fun day and i am really too tired to write anything at all. Just to share my happiness with everyone, tuition kid 's maths jumped from 13 marks to 29 marks. MORE than 100%. haha! 100% that so great, though it is not a good grade considering that she did not pass at all. but more than 100%, ha ha! and she gave me a bookmark and a MR small key chain.=)

smiles! need to buy 4 glass bottles, to put my newly bought stars and swans=) and maybe a laptop bag too. should I buy? Ha ha! hope tomorrow is a nice day. got to read up my notes at least book 2 starting by TODAY. and still left with assessment...

The weather forecast today is: sunny in the afternoon, about to rain near midnight

2010-09-19T21:04:00.002+08:00

this 2 week was quite a busy week. My supervisor reply on Monday, which means that we will get to know what we requires to study for our attachment. So many things to read up...

6 sept (Monday) : after exam, we had thai express. ate the glass noodles plus the fish. quite nice and not exactly hot. but quite uncomfortable for my stomach which is so use to taking porridge during the exams

tues: i think i had a buffet at sakura! taste quite okay, but it is quite cheap for 12.90 nets. went to balestier to have it and walk quite a while

wed: stay in the library, and watching tv all the way

thurs: went to meet my friends at JP. and we had KFC. haha! NICE...

fri: i forget where did i go! most likely should be slacking at home

sat: had a super long walk, sort of get lost at the helix bridge area, and reaches home only at 10 plus!! haha

sun: spent a day at my ah ma house watching mio tv. SHIOK!!

Monday: was busy watching the variety show, there are so many episodes! till i haven't finish it now

Tuesday: I have been sleeping at home and slacking, watching Tv Programme

Wednesday: I had Porridge Buffet and I finish parts of my Notes. Hurray (went for tuition)

Thursday: Too tired, slacking again!! (went for tuition)

Friday: went out with the poly clique, but too bad, we did not get to have picnic=) but instead, we had board games at Minds. quite cheap for this time round. (went for tuition)

Sat: went to my friends' house to give her tuition and study the LLD book, but instead, i fell asleep. and after that met another one and we walk all the way from Clarke station (look at the lanterns and food, wanted to buy, but there are too many ppl) and walk along the singapore river and saw the merlion and continue to esplanade, joining in the celebration and continue , passing by the F1 race track and continue to helix bridge, passing by the shopping mall, to the highway and get lost somewhere at raffles place.

Sun: woke up early in the morning, and met friend in the lib to get some notes and study... but ended up, i felt that we chatted more than we study=). During lunch, it was funny. Met a ITE lecturer and he talked all the way with us while we are busy eating. wonder what star sign he is?
went to my grandma house and watch tv and slept till quite late=)

Tomorrow: had to go to school and eat sakae buffet!! haha! eat 3 buffet in less then 3 weeks... fattening haha!! which means i only eat one meal tomorrow. and had to go tuition again

things to finish studying before tues: which is sadly to say tomorrow!
: must read the assessment for occupational therapy for children, the LLD BOOK (half way through), Play and school notes (half way), and the assessment book...and yup (learning contract- but after tues) so many to read=)

what a super nice day, i have today

2010-09-13T20:14:00.001+08:00

my sunflower blooms le=)

my first steamegg that i made! delicious... so now, i know how to cook maggi, hashbrown, nuggets, cook half-boil egg, and steam egg=)

2010-09-13T19:38:00.002+08:00

haha! this is so cute!! Attachment result is out. It happened so suddenly when I was checking mail around 4 pm and i was so happy that the attachment was not out yet. But when i am facebooking at 6pm, suddenly saw sheena's message that about BURNs. that point, with a heavy heart, i went to hotmail to see where I am attached to. it is a heart thumping experience...

2010-09-12T23:18:00.003+08:00

I had my long- awaiting pepper lunch express today! and i found out that the dress that i wanted to buy isn't what i expected to be. SO i did not purchase it! what a relief!

went to tiong, bugis, followed by chinatown to see the fair and the lighting! resting at the bus stop, cos our legs are breaking!! photo taking session!

and i bought a book of sticker for my kid too! Overall, the day seems to be perfectly nice! but I am still feeling very sad, though i did not really show out. wanted to binge on some food but realise that my ice cream in the fridge is gone! wanted to ask others out but realised that the timing for buffet is only limited to some of my friends! and they are not free! so sad! if my mood did not change for the better tomorrow! i shall eat buffet alone by MYSELF.

my attachment is going to start soon, i guess! hopefully! and anxious to know where i am going, most likely the notice will be coming out tomorrow! what is the best time to get this shock? I really hope that this time, there will not be any mistake and errors make by me... cos I REALLY WANTED TO DO A GOOD JOB. the last test...

2010-09-11T23:42:00.002+08:00

hoho! I wanted to eat long John sliver long ago. Miss it so much, especially the new recent combo only $4.10=)

haha! can you see the lighten up in red...that's the bridge! the new bridge (helix bridge). quite nice, but the place was not really develop yet so there are still quite a lot of construction going around there. and it is super crowded. It is hard to get a spot where there is no one at all. and we got quite lost in a shopping centre near-by, which sell branded stuff... and we spent like about 1 hour walking around it. Felt like my lower limbs are breaking into parts, like walking a few Km. Feeling hungry and thirsty after walking=)

haha! VAL miss you , so crop you in! haha!

2010-09-09T23:52:00.003+08:00

haha! have so much fun taking neoprints. It has been a long time taking neo prints, though there is very little designs available for us to choose...but it is equally fun for me!!=)

the fun process that we are involved in...

smilez. wanted to take more photos but found out that i did not slot any memory card into my camera!!BLUR #__________#

2010-09-08T23:07:00.001+08:00

my plant is blooming...tomorrow, I have to JP. Shopping, hurray just to release my unhappiness for today.

2010-09-08T10:23:00.002+08:00

hoho! can't imagine that I spent my 2nd day of holiday in the library. Wanted to have a relaxing day but was awaken by some dreams, i supposed because I couldn't remember anything at all. I just felt that my heart was bouncing and till now I still did not really manage to cool down. There is some sort of fear which still tingles around my heart... and I just wanted to comfortably enjoy my online drama series but in the end, the internet in my house was sort of not in use today so I am now happily stuck in the national library to watch my tv series. But it is quite bored in the library, sitting in a corner and using the internet. How come everyone is staying so far away from me and most of them have either school or examination, so IRRITATING.

It was sort of a busy day yesterday. Very happily managed to watch tv till about 1 pm without any disturbances from my family to ask me to go to bed, and I managed to wake up at 10 plus with good and nice sleep...Packed my whole room and clear my closet... and i manage to watch some of the drama that I was thinking about it during my examination days. and went to bugis to return some books too. But I am still thinking whether I should buy the dress or not!!! Because I will only wear it for a few times, I suppose...But I think I want it badly, shall go back and see next time round...

Today, I am having tuition again...=) what a long long day...!!

2010-09-07T21:05:00.002+08:00

ha ha! just finally manage to pack finish my clothing. I just finally realized that I had really too many clothing. Some of the clothing, especially those that i had bought the previous occasions...I only wore once or at most twice. Usually i will just stuck to my school Pe t-shirt, regardless at home, or in school or even in my sleep. Time to stop buying clothes and I should save up money too...

and just too many pants...but I only prefer to wear a few. Because not all of them are as comfortable as they look.
and just realize that I had too many bags... to me, it is considered as a lot because I had to think of which one to bring out. so I prefer to have only one bag pack and sling bag. But always can't resist the temptation to look at bag and buy it home.

and I have too many sneakers, most of them are new shoes... I will just have to stuck to just one pair of shoes and wear till it spoiled. Hurray...

In conclusion, I had to SAVE UP and SPENT LESS... to reach my target...=)

2010-08-25T07:46:00.001+08:00

fever for the past few days. can't really talk now. if not i will cough non-stop...perhaps i have not blog for a long time... feel like writing something.=)

can't stop watching:

http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/F72o24141G0/

2010-08-19T19:27:00.004+08:00

this few days, there are a lot of happenings. Firstly, the good thing... 2 people are 20 and 22 years old respectively

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WEIZHEN and ALAN

and this few days, i am so poor. Cos i have to save up to buy things that i wanted to buy long long ago and my tuition is almost coming to an end...

and the worst things is that i admitted that i have not been working hard this few days or even weeks. perhaps, i have been thinking about too much things. i know that man should always look forward... but what eventually come out from one's mouth does not mean that one is able to do the thing at all. have you ever had that kind of experiences?

it feels like no matter how much words and how convincing you are in convincing your friends this and that... but when it comes to your own things, even if you set a goal or an aim to pursue, it lies within whether you are motivated to complete the task that you once set for yourself. ( why do i feel like i am using Moho, but why i did not write this in report x____x). it seems like a different thing when you tried to convince others and when you convince yourself...

but anyway, saying out is better than keeping it to yourself. haha! but i rather keep it to myself and tried to sort out my own thoughts. COS I BELIEVE THAT NO ONE'S WORDS HAS THE ABILITY TO CHANGE ONESELF, EXCEPT YOUR OWN BELIEFS AND THOUGHTS.

Anyway, time to really mug all the way. hope that i will be able to resist the temptation of the remote control and television programme. but anyway, only 2 more videos to finish, why not finish it first...=)

back to the same old me again. 2 days left

2010-08-18T23:20:00.000+08:00

this is my 180 post...
actually i got a lot of things that i wanted to say, but just can't put it into words

2010-08-17T20:00:00.002+08:00

got super irritated, when i was woken up from my sleep by many telephone calls... because of food. especially i had nightmare this few days so i had to sleep in the afternoon at least 2 hours too. and in the end, those who called... got sort of scolded by me. So sorry! I am too sleepy and tired and i want to sleep. and in the end, got sort of guilty and went back to help those who called me. But i keep on nagging and complaining... sorry for that. if my hand phone ring, it is still alright cos it is quite near to me and i don't need to walk so far to pick up the phone... at most I will just ask who you are...*____________________*

sorry for those who called including my best friend st, and my neighbour who bought me food!!

2010-08-16T21:04:00.002+08:00

i wanted to buy his book, but don't know when will it be published. -___________-.
this few days being awaken by countless of nightmare, the worse thing is that i cannot remember anything when i woke up in the morning. though, i know i am feeling very sad and agitated because of last night dream. this few days, i am not in a very good mood at all. i wanted to go and swim but in the end, did not swim because i am not in a mood after all. don't have the mood to concentrate too, and did not really study this few days. stare at the book but none went into the head. i just have to work hard and pick myself up. maybe i should just sneak into my sec sch clothes and go back to sch and study... or maybe i should just lock myself in the room and just pull my hand-phone apart...

perhaps i should not be so greedy... sometimes, i just wonder what is my true personality... therefore, i keep looking horoscope to see what kind of person i am? such as searching for answer to my question. i feel like being surrounded by transparent wall and view people using these walls and at the same time hiding myself from others. but after all no one to listen to truth and seldom many dared to...

EMO... xIaNgJuN

2010-08-15T22:19:00.001+08:00

roar, I hate to be make use of...

2010-08-14T08:57:00.003+08:00

Haha! recently, i had a cousin who got married. but too bad, i did not get to see the bride in her wedding gown cos i was in thailand. but i heard that she was quite pretty. the funny thing about my cousin was that he and me have a common habit that we will do at night, which was screaming at night or you can say night talking. but apparently the sound will be magnify at night. and the effect is very scary. haha! my cousin-in-law got frightened. no matter how prepared you are, the effect is totally different. and the more the person wanted to control his shouting, the worser it will get.

haha! anyway, got nightmare today again. but no so call of a nightmare. i dreamt about a maths question which is simple, yet i am the only one who got it wrong and wrong. it is so scary. i dreamt of my pri sch mate- zh, perhaps due to chatting, st, my best friend, yixin, the pot and cherie, maybe i see her profile yesterday only and of course a teacher mr toh which he had never taught me maths before, dont know why did i even dream of him. but the worst thing is i can't solve the maths question and the answer should be 98. and i keep struggling with the problem....

now my heart is still beating profusely, and i can't concentrate at all. just wonder what can i do to stop it.

yesterday, slept for 11 hours, including afternoon nap. totally wasted my time. never mind, got to work harder today anyway. should i go out and take pictures...

2010-08-09T21:11:00.003+08:00

i wonder why nobody blog nowadays, all empty de. time to search for new stranger blog to read. sometimes it is fun too. national day celebration is just over. just because of national day, i stayed at home to watch tv and eat my maggi mee. but did not have the opportunity to finish watching the tv programme cos of the 4 hrs marathon with my tution kid. she got mad halfway cos i think her family complain of going in and out of the room to take the textbook. but it was not my fault, she did not take out her textbook despite knowing that there was science homework for her. and i needed to GET her PRoof that she was wrong. so that i could ensure that my answer was correct too. prelims is coming, wonder how she can cope. tomorrow will be her english mock exam, paper which is set by me. haha! it is a 3 hrs paper. so it will be a marathon for her and for me, just had to stare into space for 3 hrs and maybe doing some sneak reading. hope she will do well after all.

slacking today and got myself into big trouble tomorrow, but luckily clear all my debts, and now debt free. time to really push myself. after all, i have finish watching all the shows except one. sometimes, i really feel that tv kills me. luckily, for my major exam in my o and a, my tv spoil. don't know if it is a good thing or not. haha! off reading something again. sometimes, love stories is very heartwarming, one should try.

and i spent almost 200 plus le, i got very upset cos i am running poor (paid for hp bills, transportation bills, software bills, food bills, present bills) and i wanted a new bag but just realise i have 3 sling bags and 2 backpack... is it alot i just wondered. and i wanted to get the series of books and i got to fold orgami swans and still have... let me think...=)

2010-08-08T23:08:00.001+08:00

many people are searching for something. yet many people are not sure what are they searching for... me too

2010-08-08T20:09:00.003+08:00

time to move on anyway, have been shopping, buying things, visiting the library and finally completed my series of books that i wanted to finish reading... what did i do. OH ya, finish the drama show that i wanted to watch long ago and bought present and yup, the most important thing is that i packed my room. my clothes are now in the correct places and my books sort of... but not exactly like that, but just that all my books are now in the living room....anyway, time to start moving on and it will be fun. just falling in love with sana's book about life. it is like narrating what i feel now... pet society next week will be fantasy week. looking forward to it. and the worst things is hthat i wont be going to paintball cos i got to save up. spent too much this weekend. buying things that is totally unexpectedly expensive, i think so. got to save and study and meanwhile got to go and swim swim=)